Almighty Twitter overlord Elon Musk has begun granting amnesty to accounts banned from the platform before his purchase of the company. Here are what some of those users are saying about their prospective return to Twitter.
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“This is meaningless unless I can recover all the DMs I had from beautiful women who desperately needed wire transfers.”
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“Honestly, even I feel weird listening to and enjoying The College Dropout at this point.”
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“I’ve moved on to trying to get banned from TikTok now.”
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“Moving forward, I promise only to talk about nondenominational space lasers.”
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“Winning the right to come back by Twitter poll is the closest I’ve ever come to getting the popular vote.”
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“Now more than ever, my voice needs to be heard by moderate liberal boomers who still think I’m edgy.”
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“I’m just happy someone remembered I exist.”
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“This is a victory for Project Veritas and anyone who believes in surreptitiously recording people saying stuff that’s actually pretty noncontroversial.”
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“We never got banned, though we see why you’d think that.”
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“Oh, I’m not reinstated, but then again, 10 million active users already just repeat what I say anyway.”
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“Letting me back here is a real cuck move.”
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“I can finally DM minors again and warn them against the dangers of grooming!”
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“Thanks, but I don’t think I want to go back to a platform with so much negativity.”
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“Joke’s on Musk. I forgot my password ages ago.”
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“I don’t care. I’m a Reddit guy.”
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“The worst part about being off Twitter is that I had to be alone with all my deranged thoughts.”
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“I’d only risk additional prison time for successful social media companies.”
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“Devastating. All I had in life was that I had been banned from Twitter.”
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“I was holding back before. Now I can really let go and be myself.”
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