In the suburban environment, tensions can build over something as simple as an unraked lawn. Here are some ways you can keep the peace with your neighbors:
- If you’re a smoker, make an effort to throw the butts into a single, easy-to-clean pile over the fence.
- Kill chickens only as necessary and never in the front yard.
- If there aren't many homeless people in your neighborhood, take some time to sort out the recycling yourself.
- When rocking out on weekends, stick to professionally vetted greatest hits collections.
- If a neighbor asks to borrow some sugar, absolutely refuse. His health should be your No. 1 concern.
- Whenever enjoying your back or front yard, be sure to do so in some nice, tasteful pleated slacks.
- Are you fucking kidding me with three dogs? What is this, West Virginia? You'll have to euthanize one.