America's Finest News Source.
Onion Magazine

Being Elected President And Then Assassinated: Could It Happen To You?

•
SEE MORE: Sunday Magazine
Sunday MagazineVOL 53 ISSUE 43

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

More from The Onion

Roger Stone Sentenced To Over 3 Years In Prison

GM Ups Ante In SUV Race With New 14-Seat, 11-Door, 7-Wheel, 4-Trunk Chevy Teton

Experts Concerned Pale Russian Mystic Constantly At Trump’s Side May Attempt To Influence 2020 Election

Bloomberg Housekeepers Brace For Another Day Of Dressing Up Like DNC Candidates And Letting Boss Beat Them In Debate