WASHINGTON—In an effort to appeal to a broader audience of both Millennial and Gen Z voters, President Joe Biden reportedly impregnated a popular musician Thursday in order to boost his approval ratings. “Today, the 46th president of the United States Joe Biden is delighted to announce that he conceived a child with singer-songwriter Dua Lipa,” said White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, who added that the 27-year-old’s diverse fan base, as well as her hit singles “Electricity,” “Levitating,” and “One Kiss” made her the perfect candidate to sire a child with the 80-year-old. “I want to assure you that Joe Biden did not take this decision lightly and considered several other highly qualified candidates, including Lana Del Rey, Olivia Rodrigo, and Megan Thee Stallion. But in the end, Dua Lipa and the president could not be more excited about their son, Jaxton Lipa Biden. Plus, his approval rating has already jumped up five points to a whopping 45%.” At press time, Biden was under fire for nepotism after news broke that he had briefly considered impregnating his granddaughter.
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