Biden’s First 100 Days: Did He Keep His Campaign Promises?

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April 29 marks President Joe Biden’s 100th day in office, a milestone that is traditionally used to evaluate whether a president is keeping or deviating from their campaign promises. The Onion evaluates whether Biden kept his campaign promises.

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Stimulus Checks

Promise Kept: Americans received all $1,400 they were always promised.

Create A Cabinet That “Looks Like America”

Promise Broken: Not one cabinet member is shaped like Illinois.

Immigration

Working On It: Biden has completed nearly all the paperwork to become a U.S. citizen.

Kill Or Capture Osama bin Laden

Promise Kept: When making a checklist, it’s good to include something already in the bank.

Police Oversight Commission

Promise Broken: Some promises are made to be broken.

Stop Border Wall Construction

Promise Kept: Biden diverted all border wall materials into building much-needed border fencing.

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To Be There

Promise Broken: The auditorium was packed for the dance recital, but Biden’s seat was empty.

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Not Being Donald Trump

Promise Kept: His most popular campaign promise, pundits are debating whether this accomplishment alone can carry him through to a second term.

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Remaining Alive

Working On It: Some close calls resulted in Kamala Harris being president for an afternoon here and there.

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