Biden Sends In Troops To Liberate Afghanistan From U.S.

Illustration for article titled Biden Sends In Troops To Liberate Afghanistan From U.S.

WASHINGTON—Declaring that the United States could not stand idly by while such a grave injustice occurred on the world stage, President Joe Biden announced plans Thursday to send troops to liberate Afghanistan from the U.S. “For far too long, the people of Afghanistan have been at the mercy of a foreign invader, and as the world’s leader in protecting humanitarian rights, America has no choice but to send the American military to Afghanistan until we can drive America out,” said Biden, adding that while he had not made the decision lightly, he believed U.S. military force was necessary to expel the foreign American invaders and restore the sovereignty of the Afghan people. “The brutal U.S. regime has been devastating the Afghan people for far too long, and we must take a stand. We believe that our first deployment of 50,000 U.S. troops will be able to drive the U.S. troops out of Afghanistan within a few months, and we intend to retain a military presence in Afghanistan as long as necessary to ensure that America does not interfere with the Afghan peoples’ efforts to establish self-determination as well as free and fair elections. It’s imperative that the Afghan people are able to determine their own future without the overreaching foreign influence that they’ve been facing for decades.” At press time, Biden announced a new plan to send in U.S. forces to liberate Afghanistan from the U.S. forces he’d sent to liberate Afghanistan from U.S. forces.