As the abortion debate intensifies, it’s become abundantly clear that most men don’t know the first thing about sexual reproduction. Here are the biggest misconceptions guys need to correct ASAP.
When Trying To Conceive, It Is Better For The Man To Wear Boxers Instead Of Briefs
For the best chance of pregnancy, men ideally shouldn’t wear any underwear at all during sex.
Sperm Can Go Bad After It’s Been Released
Many men squeeze some lemon juice onto the tip of their penis in the erroneous belief it will help the sperm stay fresh and keep it from browning.
Women Can’t Get Pregnant While Menstruating
Women can do anything!
Babies Come Out Of The Anus
This is only true of children conceived through anal sex.
It Is Easy To Get Pregnant
Many couples struggle for years to work up the motivation to have sex.
Women Can’t Get Pregnant If A Man Is Wearing A Condom Over His Penis, Fingers, And Toes
After an unexpected pregnancy, it’s not uncommon to hear a man exclaim, “But I wore 21 condoms!”
The Umbilical Cord Has A Venomous Sting
This misconception accounts for most men’s anxiety in the delivery room.
A Vagina Dentata Is Sharp And Can Bite Off A Man’s Penis
Actual vaginal teeth are flat and designed to grind grains.
Lying Flat After Sex Increases The Chances Of Getting Pregnant
There’s no proof this works, though it can be healthy to take some time to process the sin you’ve just committed.
The Fetus Starts Out In The Penis
Before it’s ever in the penis, the fetus first starts in the testicles.
At Six Months, A Fetus Is Already Developed Enough To Overhear And Steal Credit Card Information
While fetuses can hear sounds within the womb, they have no conception of money.
Their Detailed Knowledge Of ’90s Alternative Rock Will Be Helpful During Labor
It’s better to stand back and let the doctors and nurses handle the Stone Temple Pilots trivia portion of the delivery.
Women Can Choose Which Sperm Cell They Want To Fertilize Egg
No, women can’t use their vaginal muscles to sift through the semen and eliminate the losers.
Men Can Have Babies Even After They’re Dead
Actually, much like women, men also have a “ticking clock” and must reproduce while they’re still alive.
Left Testicle Makes Girls; Right Testicle Makes Boys
This is somehow better than blaming the woman for giving birth to a daughter.
Conception Can Only Occur If “Bull’s-Eye!” Is Yelled During Ejaculation
Males actually release thousands of sperm at a time, so accuracy isn’t very important.
A Woman Can Abort A Baby With Her Mind
Trained medical professionals spend years learning to abort babies via telepathic mind beam.
You Can’t Get Pregnant If You Were Crossing Your Fingers Behind Your Back During Sex
Alternatively, either party can just make a “timeout” sign with their hands.
It’s All Done Asexually
Unfortunately, humans haven’t quite perfected the art of splitting themselves in two.