Biggest Misconceptions People Have About Polyamory

Biggest Misconceptions People Have About Polyamory

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While polyamory is growing in popularity, the practice of dating multiple partners is often still widely misunderstood. Here are the most common misconceptions people have about polyamorous relationships.

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The STDs They Get Are Cooler

The STDs They Get Are Cooler

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Unfortunately, they just get HPV like everyone else.

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​It’s The Same As ​A ​20-Person Fuckpile​

​It’s The Same As ​A ​20-Person Fuckpile​

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A polyamorous relationship is a fuckpile with deeper emotional commitments.​

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Your Girlfriend’s Into The Idea

Your Girlfriend’s Into The Idea

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No amount of wanting to date your coworker is gonna make this happen, bud.

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You’ll Get Stuck Together

You’ll Get Stuck Together

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Although there are rules and sometimes complex dynamics, people in poly relationships rarely get their limbs inseparably entangled.

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Humans Are Capable Of Loving People Other Than Themselves

Humans Are Capable Of Loving People Other Than Themselves

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We’re not sure how many more times this has to be disproven before people start accepting that it is impossible.

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It’s Hard To Keep Track Of All Your Relationships

It’s Hard To Keep Track Of All Your Relationships

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Most polyamorous people easily keep track using a spreadsheet where they rank partners by genital size.

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If You Die In A Polyamorous Relationship, Your Partners Will Inherit Your Genitals

If You Die In A Polyamorous Relationship, Your Partners Will Inherit Your Genitals

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The genitals of the deceased always go to the primary partner.

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You Need To Register As A Vehicle With The DMV

You Need To Register As A Vehicle With The DMV

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This only applies if you are traveling over 1,000 miles yearly to seek out other sexual partners.

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Polyamorous People Have Multiple Partners

Polyamorous People Have Multiple Partners

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Most find it impossible to even find one.

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Everybody Shares Everything

Everybody Shares Everything

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Turns out it’s technically illegal to transfer several billion dollars of your customers’ deposits to your failing investment fund.

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You Need A Dog To Stand Guard Against Onlookers

You Need A Dog To Stand Guard Against Onlookers

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Plenty of modern-day polyamorists use digital security systems to thwart anyone hoping to get a glimpse of an open relationship in action.

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It’s Sponsored By Slim Jims

It’s Sponsored By Slim Jims

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Polyamory hasn’t had an official sponsor in over 20 years, and its last sponsor was Jack Link’s beef jerky.

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Polyamorous People Have Way More Sex

Polyamorous People Have Way More Sex

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Most only have sex the standard 12 times a day.

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It’s Tediously Hierarchical

It’s Tediously Hierarchical

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Poly relationships aren’t hierarchical just because they must have an alpha, four betas, 12 drones, and 27 sub-drones.

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That It Means Dating Partners With Multiple Heads

That It Means Dating Partners With Multiple Heads

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A common, but false, misunderstanding.

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Polyamory Killed Natalie Wood

Polyamory Killed Natalie Wood

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There’s simply no hard evidence indicating that’s what happened.

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You Get A Reality TV Show Right Off The Bat

You Get A Reality TV Show Right Off The Bat

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This offer is only available to the best-looking polyamorous people.

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It’s More Fun

It’s More Fun

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All relationships are sheer misery.

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