Biggest Things Catholics Give Up For Lent

Biggest Things Catholics Give Up For Lent

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Catholicism

Catholicism

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Lent is often used as a period for Catholics to experiment with other religions and even some cults.

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Pro-Life Principles

Pro-Life Principles

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Some Catholics use Lent to go without their opposition to abortion and get that little problem sorted out.

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The 46th Presidency Of The United States

The 46th Presidency Of The United States

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An ideal vice for certain Catholics to abstain from for a few weeks.

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Pornography

Pornography

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Well, hardcore stuff. Sex scenes in mainstream movies don’t count, of course.

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Bullying

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Those fucking little turds better not get used to it.

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Nude Communion

Nude Communion

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It’s really hard to abstain from, but that makes it all the hotter when it’s reinstituted at Easter mass.

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Sanitizing Whip Between Self-Flagellation Sessions

Sanitizing Whip Between Self-Flagellation Sessions

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Letting your wounds grow yellow and leak for 40 days is a great way to strengthen your self-discipline.

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Reruns Of Bones 

Reruns Of Bones 

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Most Catholics haven’t seen Bones in years, but there’s still pain in knowing you couldn’t watch it if you wanted to.

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Chocolate

Chocolate

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Making do with only caramel, taffy, jelly beans, and sour gummy worms is enough to test any Catholic’s mettle.

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Mr. Blue

Mr. Blue

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What? You’re 7 years old now. You don’t think it’s important you learn to make sacrifices, too?

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Condoms

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They’re addictive, but too high in carbs.

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Creating Planets In Seven Days And Then Resting

Creating Planets In Seven Days And Then Resting

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There’s just way too much work involved after that.

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Judaism

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Those converting to Catholicism often view Lent as a convenient time to get the ball rolling on the renouncement of their heritage and former lives.

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Heterosexuality

Heterosexuality

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At this point, it’s incredibly played out.

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Running Naked Through The Streets Yelling “Pleasure! Pleasure!”

Running Naked Through The Streets Yelling “Pleasure! Pleasure!”

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While it can be difficult for Catholics to stop doing this every night, it’s important that they at least try to cover their genitals and stay indoors.

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Ripping The Head Off Of A Live Cow With Nothing But Their Teeth

Ripping The Head Off Of A Live Cow With Nothing But Their Teeth

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Many Catholics opt to bite the head of a fish clean off instead.

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Human Flesh

Human Flesh

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It’s not like people won’t be around 40 days later, and, who knows, maybe it’s the kick in the pants you need to give up cannibalism altogether.

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Embezzlement

Embezzlement

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Your company will appreciate 40 days of their money not mysteriously evaporating into thin air.

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Shitting In A Shoebox And Mailing It To The Governor

Shitting In A Shoebox And Mailing It To The Governor

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It’s only 40 days.

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Molestation Of The Pope

Molestation Of The Pope

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These are the two biggest bubbles in the Catholic word cloud our AI generated, so it must be a big thing for them.

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Percocets

Percocets

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But just for a little tolerance break.

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