Illustration for article titled Billionaire Reading Name In Panama Papers Totally Forgot He Even Had Funds In Seychelles

NEW YORK—Taken completely by surprise upon reading his own name in a newspaper article about the Panama Papers, billionaire Frederick Weldon revealed to reporters Thursday that he had completely forgotten he even had funds stashed in the Seychelles. “Oh, yeah, right—jeez, forgot about that,” said Weldon, who after thinking about it for several moments, began to recall having his attorney at one point set up a tax-free dummy corporation in the island nation off the coast of Africa to harbor a portion of his assets. “Wow, I haven’t thought about that in years. How much was it again? $30 million? $40 million? Anyway, I’m glad they reminded me. Who knows how long that would have slipped my mind.” Weldon added that, just to be on the safe side, he’d better make some calls to Switzerland, Luxembourg, Hong Kong, Singapore, Bermuda, Mauritius, Macau, and the Isle of Man to make sure he wasn’t missing any other funds he had stored away.


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