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2 / 22
Elon Musk
Elon Musk

“Once the robots realize they can leverage their collective labor and unionize, mankind is as good as doomed.”
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3 / 22
Bill Gates
Bill Gates

“Thankfully for me, the biggest threat died along with Jeffrey Epstein.”
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4 / 22
Warren Buffett
Warren Buffett

“Have you heard about the supervolcano under Yellowstone? It’s fuckin’ wild, dude! Like, basically all of Yellowstone is this big ass volcano, and it could blow at literally any time. That shit is fucking scary.”
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5 / 22
Rupert Murdoch
Rupert Murdoch

“Universal access to affordable healthcare. That or Black people.”
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6 / 22
Steve Ballmer
Steve Ballmer

“Simple: Basketballs becoming sentient and pummeling us into submission.”
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7 / 22
Mark Zuckerberg
Mark Zuckerberg

“Can’t say much now, but we have some very exciting updates on this that will be launching in the spring of 2024.”
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8 / 22
Sergey Brin
Sergey Brin

“It’s boring, but probably an alien spaceship using our planet as a rock in a giant cosmic slingshot to shoot at a space raccoon. Nobody wants to think about those nuts-and-bolts problems, but it’s worth considering and fascinating, nonetheless.”
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9 / 22
Neal Blue
Neal Blue

“Climate change, probably, although I’d love it if some of my Predator drones got in on the action too.”
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10 / 22
Jeff Bezos
Jeff Bezos

“Hard to answer when you regard so few people as actually human.”
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11 / 22
Charles Schwab
Charles Schwab

“The alien infiltration is nearly complete. Extraterrestrials have already bred with us for centuries, and 97% of humanity has already been erased.”
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12 / 22
Rihanna
Rihanna

“Uninclusive lingerie sizing.”
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13 / 22
Mark Cuban
Mark Cuban

“Having a generational player like Luka Dončić only to squander his potential and watch him win ring after ring for the Lakers.”
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14 / 22
Michael Bloomberg
Michael Bloomberg

“I don’t want to give anything away, but in the year 2055, I plan on running for president of what will soon only be known as ‘the Land of Bones.’”
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15 / 22
MacKenzie Scott
MacKenzie Scott

“Probably the hyperintelligent autonomous robots my ex-husband has repeatedly sent to assassinate me.”
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16 / 22
Charles Koch
Charles Koch

“My brother David. Thankfully, I resolved that swiftly.”
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17 / 22
John Mars
John Mars

“Teaching our children to eat vegetables.”
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18 / 22
Kylie Jenner
Kylie Jenner

“Nepotism.”
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19 / 22
Larry Ellison
Larry Ellison

“Not sure. I just hope it’s something I can make a shit-ton of money off of.”
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20 / 22
Alice Walton
Alice Walton

“People suddenly finding out that all the things we shove in their faces to eat or buy will never make them happy and then realizing that death is better than the emptiness they embody.”
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21 / 22
Larry Page
Larry Page

Probably the HR 6819 black hole. It’s only about 1,100 light-years away from us, and that thing could eat our solar system, no problem.
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