Birth Control: Myth Vs. Fact

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Birth control is used by over half of women in the U.S., yet there are many misconceptions surrounding it. The Onion looks at common myths and facts of birth control.


MYTH: The morning-after pill is like an abortion.
FACT: You don’t typically walk out of Planned Parenthood with a candy bar, AAA batteries, and a pack of cigarettes after an abortion.

MYTH: Birth control should be taken at the same time every day.
FACT: Oh, whoops. Just take two now, it’s probably fine.

MYTH: Condoms make sex less pleasurable.
FACT: Screaming three-month-olds make sex less pleasurable.

MYTH: Cindy Kaloski took birth control, and she’s dead now.
FACT: Well, yeah, but that’s because she got hit by a car.

MYTH: Older people don’t need birth control.
FACT: Alec Baldwin has had six children in the past seven years.

MYTH: Fertility can be permanently damaged by using birth control.
FACT: It may take a few months for a cycle to return to normal, but there are no other birth control-related impediments to a woman wishing to ruin her life with children.


MYTH: Hormonal birth control pills can help treat acne.
FACT: That’s a great excuse for telling your mom why you need the pill.

MYTH: Birth control is 100% effective.
FACT: It’s a boy!