SALT LAKE CITY—After he astonished a coworker who previously thought what she was witnessing was nearly impossible, sources confirmed Wednesday that a local Black man was informed he was pretty articulate for a fundamentally subhuman life form. “Wow, it’s nice to meet an innately inferior being who is so well spoken,” said Pam Jensen, who works with the Black man at Beckstead Media Solutions, adding that she had assumed, upon seeing her colleague’s skin color, that she would have to communicate with him through a series of overt physical gestures and simple, loudly spoken phrases. “What a pleasant surprise! To be honest, when I walked into the room just now and saw there was a primitive creature of limited intelligence in here, I wasn’t even expecting you to be coherent, let alone eloquent. For a moment there you had me thinking you might not be a savage beast who deserved to die in the street, but that’s silly, of course!” At press time, the Black man had reportedly been reprimanded by HR for using his broad command of language to thoroughly curse out his coworker.