BREAKING: Adrian Peterson Deactivated By Family

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MINNEAPOLIS—Following mounting allegations of child abuse against the six-time Pro Bowl running back, sources confirmed Wednesday that Minnesota Vikings star Adrian Peterson has been officially deactivated by his family. “In light of the current situation, we have decided that the best course of action is to have Adrian abstain from all family-related activities indefinitely,” read a statement from the Peterson family, which went on to say that the 29-year-old could potentially be reinstated by his wife and two children if and when he is cleared of any criminal charges. “The ban will entail that Adrian no longer take part in any family gatherings, as well as prohibits him from contact with close relatives during this time. While we sincerely hope that he can resolve his issues, we are also very confident that the Peterson family can function incredibly well in Adrian’s absence.” At press time, sources close to the situation confirmed that fellow Vikings running back Matt Asiata would be assuming all of Peterson’s fatherly duties for the foreseeable future.