NEW YORK—After several minutes of intense negotiations, Kansas City Chiefs head coach Andy Reid agreed to trade the team’s No. 1 overall pick in the 2013 NFL draft for a bite of a bacon double cheeseburger, repeatedly insisting that the offer was too juicy and dripping with melted cheddar to refuse. “Sure, Texas A&M left tackle Luke Joeckel might provide excellent quarterback protection for the next 10 years, but this bacon double cheeseburger is just massive and loaded with succulent charbroiled beef patties,” said Reid, who was also impressed by the sandwich’s four strips of crispy bacon. “Sure, there’s a risk that this bacon double cheeseburger might not be as good as it looks. But I’ve watched and carefully studied this sandwich, and I believe it’s the real deal. No matter what, I always trust my gut.” At press time, the Chiefs general manager and scouts were shocked and horrified after watching Reid consume the entire bacon double cheeseburger in a single bite.
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