The Onion: Are you going to honestly answer any question we ask in this interview?
Love them or hate them, none of us would be the incompetent failures we are today without our moms. In honor of all…
Can’t go wrong with a simple, heartfelt declaration of support.
Just so you know, everyone featured in our books signed iron-clad NDAs, so if they spill before our book release,…
While many Americans were horrified by the FAA’s decision to drop mask mandates, an equal number were overjoyed. The…
Without social media, we turned to snacks. When the snacks dried up, we turned on each other.
Calls advisors to ask if it time to switch to anonymous burner phone.
All Russian soldiers who were killed on enemy land are considered traitors.
While Americans enjoy freedom of speech, citizens in heavily censored autocratic regimes experience the complete…
With the United States imposing strict sanctions, many American companies are feeling more and more pressure to cut…
“Once the robots realize they can leverage their collective labor and unionize, mankind is as good as doomed.”
Military recruiters, who often work in schools and malls, have been known to make enlisting sound glamorous,…
Cryptocurrency might not be real, but that doesn’t stop countless Americans from researching it, buying it, and…
And they say it with a straight face, too. Disgusting.
Although there are plenty of reputable Covid testing sites that give fast, accurate results, there are also…
Over the past year, tech giants like Facebook, Microsoft, and Google have invested billions of dollars into virtual…
“Mr. President, you must go out immediately to address the rioters and tell them to watch Hannity at 9/8 Central.”