BREAKING: You Wanna Fucking Go?

RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW—Confronting you on all the shit you have been talking recently, furious sources close to you are asking insistently and repeatedly if you want to fucking go right now. “Why don’t you come over here and show me what the fuck you got,” the red-faced individual reportedly said, confirming that they were looking at you, yes, you with the stupid fucking face, and daring you to say that shit again while also speculating that it was past time someone taught you some manners. Certain individuals evidently indifferent to the mounting tension have meanwhile suggested that you are, in fact, a complete son of a bitch who should quit pretending to be some kind of big shot and walk away before they had to send what was left of you home in a fucking body bag. As no outright hostilities had been openly entered into as of press time, sources confirmed that yeah, uh huh, that’s what they thought, you chickenshit.

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