Breast-Implant Dangers

Last week, the FDA ruled that the two leading brands of saline breast implants are safe enough to stay on the market despite "relatively high" risks of complications such as pain or leaking. What do you think about the controversial approval?

"I still have some reservations about saline implants. I think I'll just get one and see how I like it."

Lisa DeVarona • School Psychologist

"Speaking as a medical professional well-acquainted with the dangers of cosmetic surgery, I likes big ol' titties."

Nate Combs • Doctor

"Women should be free to do with their bodies whatever men want."

Tom Grunwold • Systems Analyst


"We sure have come a long way from the days when our ancestors carved breast implants from antler and horn."

Judith Criss • Teacher

"I paid $8,000 for breast implants for my wife, only to have her romanced away from me by the enigmatic Latin lover El Macho. Curse you, El Macho!"

Ben Dracht • Cameraman

"Maybe if those stupid bitches had any self-esteem, they wouldn't need implants. Whores."

Larry Yates • Electrician

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