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“Oh, it’s because I’m a fucking loser.”
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“I wish to live and die under the yoke of tyrants.”
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“They paid me a lot of money to kill Diana.”
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“Democracy’s only going to be a short-lived craze anyway.”
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“I just like knowing that we control those pathetic island people of Montserrat and could crush those fuckers under our boots at any time.”
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“As someone who is severely inbred, I’m just going to go ahead and say that this counts as representation.”
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“The whole family’s kind of cute, in a fucked-up-looking-dog sort of way.”
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“The monarchy is an important element of our nation’s dark, brutal past, and, Lord willing, an important element of our nation’s dark, brutal future.”
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“I’ve got a rich old lady fetish.”
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“I work on commission, so I say whatever I think the customer wants to hear.”
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“Who knows? The heart is funny that way.”
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“Hey, if they cheat on their wives enough, eventually they’ll probably end up having sex with me.”
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“They’re the democratically elected representatives of the people—wait, they aren’t elected? Where the fuck do they come from then?”
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“Let’s just say that Mama’s third house didn’t come from doing Peep Show.”
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“The millions spent on keeping them locked up and secure in their castles is a small price to pay for not having to interact with them.”
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“There’s a level of dignity and stability to be gained from supporting centuries of the stupidest fucking thing imaginable.”
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“[Unintelligible slurping.]”
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“I think they’re technically troops, and I always support the troops.”
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“10:53 a.m., GMT.”
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“What can I say? I’m a sub that loves to be dominated.”
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“With any luck, I’ll marry that baby George, and then I’ll be queen!”
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“Me like big nice crown! Yip-yip-yippeeeeee!!!!!!”
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