Brooks Brothers Unveils New Line Of Monogramed Cum Rags

Illustration for article titled Brooks Brothers Unveils New Line Of Monogramed Cum Rags

NEW YORK—Touting the new offering as the perfect gift for Father’s Day or any occasion to celebrate the fashionable man in your life, Brooks Brothers unveiled Friday a new line of monogramed cum rags. “Our high-quality, durable, and stylish cum rags are the only accessory you need to elevate a simple menswear ensemble to something truly special,” said Brooks Brothers spokesperson Randall Juarez, adding that the chafe-resistant cum rags are designed to complement any outfit and are available in a variety of colors and fabrics, including silk, linen, seersucker, chambray, and ultra-absorbent terry cloth. “At Brooks Brothers, we’re committed to creating products that make our customers look and feel amazing, no matter the function, from black tie events to less formal ejaculation occasions. If you’re worried about finding the right cum rag, you can always try out the sample in the store.” At press time, Juarez teased the upcoming release of a new line of big-and-tall cum rags for gentlemen with oversized loads.