With the bloated cost of airfare and hotels, many people are looking to save on travel however they can. Here are The Onion’s tips for planning a memorable vacation without overspending:
- Before booking your trip, pinpoint the love of your life so as to have someone with whom to split expenses.
- Avoid airline baggage fees by swallowing a condom filled with toiletries at the security checkpoint.
- Many discounts are aimed at school-age children and seniors, so avoid traveling anytime during the prime years of your life.
- Deter pickpockets by wearing a money belt that will make them embarrassed to be seen anywhere near you.
- Consider buying a used guidebook. Yugoslavia probably hasn’t changed much since 1990 anyway.
- Stay in Venice, but eat in Slovenia.
- If you meet certain criteria, it may be possible to have your travel expenses subsidized by an organization such as Birthright or the Marine Corps.
- Mention promo code “CAPITAL” at the currency exchange booth for special two-for-one rates!