CommentaryCommentaryHoney, If You Ever Have Any Questions About Sex, You Can Always Consult The Hundreds Of Pages Of Fan Fiction In My Closet5/29/19 11:55AM
CommentaryCommentaryPeople Criticizing ‘Anthem’ Don’t Understand The Developer’s Vision Of A Game That Had To Come Out This Past Fiscal Year5/21/19 11:38AM
CommentaryCommentaryTraveling Is An Incredible Way To Meet Vulnerable People Nobody Will Go Looking For5/15/19 12:50PM
CommentaryCommentaryThank God We Didn’t Have Written Language Back When I Was A Teenager5/02/19 10:19AM
CommentaryCommentaryAfter Decades As A Print-Only Publication, Onion Gamers Network Has Decided That The Internet Is The Future Of Video Game Journalism4/29/19 11:08AM
CommentaryCommentaryI Will Personally Destroy The Chances Of Any 2020 Candidate Who Doesn’t Get Their Picture Taken Eating At Culver’s4/25/19 9:50AM
CommentaryCommentaryThe Onion’s Legal Analysts Have Completed Their Official Count Of How Many Pages Are In The Mueller Report4/18/19 3:39PM
CommentaryCommentaryIt’s Not An Easy Thing To Admit When You’re Wrong, And That’s Why I Won’t Do It1/07/19 10:09AM
CommentaryCommentaryHo, Ho, Ho! Send Me $100 Billion By Christmas Or I Will Detonate A Dirty Bomb In 5 Major Cities!12/20/18 10:45AM
CommentaryCommentaryI May Not Be The Prettiest Girl In The Room, But What I Do Have Is A Gun12/07/18 11:25AM
CommentaryCommentaryIf I Die, I Want You To Tell My Wife I Wasn’t Really That Super Into Her11/30/18 11:09AM
CommentaryCommentaryThis Angry Mob Is Never Going To Grow Until We’re More Welcoming To New Members 10/16/18 2:29PM
CommentaryCommentarySometimes, In My Lowest Moments, I Feel Like No One Would Even Care If I Dyed My Hair10/09/18 8:40AM
CommentaryCommentarySweetheart, The Day You Were Conceived Was The Best Day Of My Life9/20/18 10:06AM
CommentaryCommentary‘The Onion’ Has Chosen To Publish An Anonymous Op-Ed From Two Sources Close To Trump Who Think Their Dad Is The Best President Ever9/06/18 1:40PM
