Commentary - America's Finest News Source | The Onion

America's Finest News Source.

America's Finest News Source.

The latest news from The Onion's Commentary coverage all in one place and updated daily.

3/16/20

2:20 PM

Commentary3/16/20

Commentary3/16/20

Biden, Sanders Go Head-To-Head In Debate

11/22/19

10:30 AM

Commentary11/22/19

Commentary11/22/19

Yes, Gandhi’s ‘Civilization VI’ Outfit Is Sexy, But It Would Be Seriously Impractical On A Real Battlefield

11/8/19

4:25 PM

Commentary11/8/19

Commentary11/8/19

‘The Onion’ Launches New Cover-Up Desk To Suppress Today’s Most Damning Stories

11/7/19

7:00 AM

Commentary11/7/19

Commentary11/7/19

I Have To Admit, I Spoil Dax Shepard

10/31/19

8:00 AM

Commentary10/31/19

Commentary10/31/19

It’s Long Past Time For Jack-O’-Lanterns To Decide Once And For All If They Are On The Side Of Humans Or The Side Of Demons

10/14/19

11:27 AM

Commentary10/14/19

Commentary10/14/19

For Its 33rd Year, OGN Adamantly Refuses To Report On The Pinball Expo ‘Flip Out’ Tournament Or Any Pinball-Related News

9/23/19

11:53 AM

Commentary9/23/19

Commentary9/23/19

Years Of Playing Tower Defense Games Can’t Prepare You For The Responsibilities Of Defending A Real Tower

9/17/19

2:41 PM

Commentary9/17/19

Commentary9/17/19

I Was In A Movie Called ‘Waterworld’ And Global Warming Is Causing Rising Sea Levels, So Is There Anything To That? Is That Worth Writing An Op-Ed About? No? I Dunno, Anyways…

8/7/19

9:30 AM

Commentary8/7/19

Commentary8/7/19

Nintendo Never Should Have Pandered To Women And Created A Female Mario

7/11/19

12:05 PM

Commentary7/11/19

Commentary7/11/19

At The Peak Of My Fame, I Could Have Slept With Any Werewolf, Mummy, Or Ghoul I Wanted

5/29/19

12:55 PM

Commentary5/29/19

Commentary5/29/19

Honey, If You Ever Have Any Questions About Sex, You Can Always Consult The Hundreds Of Pages Of Fan Fiction In My Closet

5/22/19

12:52 PM

Commentary5/22/19

Commentary5/22/19

I Am An Affront To God

5/21/19

12:38 PM

Commentary5/21/19

Commentary5/21/19

People Criticizing ‘Anthem’ Don’t Understand The Developer’s Vision Of A Game That Had To Come Out This Past Fiscal Year

5/15/19

1:50 PM

Commentary5/15/19

Commentary5/15/19

Traveling Is An Incredible Way To Meet Vulnerable People Nobody Will Go Looking For

5/10/19

12:10 PM

Commentary5/10/19

Commentary5/10/19

Islam Is Incompatible With Country-Western Culture

5/7/19

3:03 PM

Commentary5/7/19

Commentary5/7/19

Bye!

5/2/19

11:19 AM

Commentary5/2/19

Commentary5/2/19

Thank God We Didn’t Have Written Language Back When I Was A Teenager

4/29/19

12:08 PM

Commentary4/29/19

Commentary4/29/19

After Decades As A Print-Only Publication, Onion Gamers Network Has Decided That The Internet Is The Future Of Video Game Journalism

4/25/19

10:50 AM

Commentary4/25/19

Commentary4/25/19

I Will Personally Destroy The Chances Of Any 2020 Candidate Who Doesn’t Get Their Picture Taken Eating At Culver’s

4/18/19

4:39 PM

Commentary4/18/19

Commentary4/18/19

The Onion’s Legal Analysts Have Completed Their Official Count Of How Many Pages Are In The Mueller Report

Advertisement