The Onion
Clickhole
The A.V. Club
Deadspin
Gizmodo
Jalopnik
Jezebel
Kotaku
Lifehacker
Splinter
The Root
The Takeout
The Inventory
Horoscopes
Politics
Sports
Local
Entertainment
Opinion
Video
Clickhole
Politics
Sports
Local
Entertainment
Opinion
Video
Clickhole
Horoscopes
Horoscopes
Your Horoscopes — Week Of February 12, 2019
Tuesday 8:18AM
Horoscopes
Your Horoscopes — Week Of February 5, 2019
2/05/19 8:00AM
Horoscopes
Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 29, 2018
1/29/19 8:28AM
Horoscopes
Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 22, 2019
1/22/19 9:53AM
Horoscopes
Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 15, 2019
1/15/19 8:51AM
Horoscopes
Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 8, 2019
1/08/19 10:00AM
Horoscopes
Your Horoscopes — Week Of December 11, 2018
12/11/18 8:00AM
Horoscopes
Your Horoscopes — Week Of December 4, 2018
12/04/18 10:02AM
Horoscopes
Your Horoscopes — Week Of November 27, 2018
11/27/18 9:54AM
Horoscopes
Your Horoscopes — Week Of November 20, 2018
11/20/18 10:06AM
Horoscopes
Your Horoscopes — Week Of November 13, 2018
11/13/18 8:00AM
Horoscopes
Your Horoscopes — Week Of November 6, 2018
11/06/18 9:56AM
Horoscopes
Your Horoscopes — Week Of October 30, 2018
10/30/18 9:33AM
Horoscopes
Your Horoscopes — Week Of October 23, 2018
10/23/18 9:38AM
Horoscopes
Your Horoscopes — Week Of October 16, 2018
10/16/18 9:39AM
Horoscopes
Your Horoscopes — Week Of October 9, 2018
10/09/18 12:15AM
Horoscopes
Your Horoscopes — Week Of October 2, 2018
10/02/18 9:07AM
Horoscopes
Your Horoscopes — Week Of September 25, 2018
9/25/18 9:39AM
Horoscopes
Your Horoscopes — Week Of September 18, 2018
9/18/18 10:44AM
Horoscopes
Your Horoscopes — Week Of September 11, 2018
9/11/18 10:14AM
More stories
Advertisement
Want The Onion’s email newsletter?
Daily Headlines
Weekly Updates
Subscribe