Jan 25News1/25/21News1/25/21Rest Easy: Bethesda Announces That Shia LaBeouf Will Appear In ‘Indiana Jones’ Game But His Character Dies Almost ImmediatelyDetails about Bethesda’s upcoming Indiana Jones game have been hush-hush ever since they shared a teaser trailer…
Jan 22News1/22/21News1/22/21Rumors Confirmed: IO Interactive Confirms Agent 47’s Barcode Brings Up Del Monte Whole Green Beans When ScannedWith the Hitman trilogy finally wrapping up this month, series fans everywhere can celebrate a fittingly badass end…
Jan 21News1/21/21News1/21/21Know Your Rights: If A Cop Asks You To Stop Gaming, You Don’t Have ToWe at OGN believe it’s impossible to overstate the importance of knowing your rights as a gamer. Especially in this…
Jan 13News1/13/21News1/13/21Still Time: The PS5s In This Ancient Cave Painting Foretelling The End Of The Earth Look Like Some Kind Of Unreleased PS5 Slim EditionGreat news, gaming fans! If you haven’t yet had a chance to check out PlayStation’s revolutionary new gaming system,…
Dec 17News12/17/20News12/17/20Disaster: Next-Gen Loading Screens Are Going Too Fast For Gamers To Read Tips And Tricks And Now Everyone Is Forgetting How To Play Video GamesWhen we first got our hands on the next generation of consoles, one of the most thrilling prospects was the…
Dec 15News12/15/20News12/15/20PS5 Alert: We’ve Heard Tales Of A City Beyond The Sands Where Streets Are Paved With PS5s, And DualSense Controllers Grow On The Trees Like LeavesAuspicious tidings have come our way, OGN readers. Though plague and console shortages mark these lands, we have…
Dec 14News12/14/20News12/14/20Amazon Worker Emerges From Holiday Overtime Shift To Find 3,000 Years Have Passed In Outside WorldPLAINFIELD, IN—Blinking repeatedly to ensure that what he was seeing outside was actually real, Amazon worker Tony…
Dec 11News12/11/20News12/11/20‘The Onion’ Reveals The 2020 Walton Goggins Of The Year Is Walton GogginsWhen the editorial board of The Onion converged to select its Walton Goggins Of The Year for 2020, the room,…
Dec 3News12/3/20News12/3/20The Con Pays Off: After Years Of Feigning Interest, George R.R. Martin Has Bolted From The ‘Elden Ring’ Offices With All The Topless Elf Concept Art His Arms Can CarrySometimes playing the long game can really pay off, gamers, and we’re really seeing it this week as one fantasy…
Nov 30News11/30/20News11/30/20Deal Alert: This Kid Has All The Coolest Games, And You Can Play Them At His House If You Can Get Over How Weird He IsListen up, gamers, because we’ve got a killer deal that you’re not going to want to miss: This kid who lives over on…
Nov 25News11/25/20News11/25/20Gamers, We Pulled Some Strings And We’re Pleased To Announce That The Common Loon Is Now Officially The Gaming BirdBoy, have we got some good news for you, gamers. Oh yes, we do. What is it, you may be wondering? Well, get ready,…
Nov 23News11/23/20News11/23/20Deal Alert: The Quantity Of Raw Plastic And Silicon That Makes Up An Xbox Series X Can Be Yours For Just $8.27Whoa-ho-ho, gamers, looks like the deal of the year has been staring us in the face all along! After getting off the…
Nov 17News11/17/20News11/17/20Review: The PS5 Is A Game-Changing Next-Gen Console That Santa Just Can’t Afford Right Now, Okay, Sport?Anticipation has been off the charts for the latest iteration of the PlayStation, and now that the system has…
Nov 16News11/16/20News11/16/20Ah, Shoot: We Forgot To Drain Our Xbox Over The Weekend And Now All The Game Fluid Leaked OutWell, dang it. We’re feeling pretty annoyed right now because we just walked into the OGN offices after taking the…
Oct 14News10/14/20News10/14/20Gamers, We Need To Come Clean: ‘Cyberpunk 2077’ Is Just A Lie We Made Up To Make You Like Us That Got Way Out Of HandHey, gamers! We know there’s one game left in this generation that’s been getting you more pumped than anything…
Oct 9News10/9/20News10/9/20Hurry Up! The First 100 OGE Attendees To Stop By The Nintendo Booth Today Will Get A Free Sample Of What Pikmin Taste LikeWith thousands flocking through the doors at the Zweibel Convention Center to attend our first-ever Onion Gamer…
Oct 9News10/9/20News10/9/20Someone Needs To Explain: The Upcoming Games In The ‘Mario,’ ‘GTA,’ and ‘Metal Gear Solid’ Series Are All Called ‘The Sands Of Time’Okay gamers, here at OGN, we pride ourselves on providing the most comprehensive look at the much-anticipated video…
Oct 8News10/8/20News10/8/20Microsoft Has Revealed Master Chief’s Teeth And They Are FilthyIn a jaw-dropping reveal at the Onion Gamer’s Expo that’s almost 20 years in the making, Microsoft just teased Halo…
Oct 7News10/7/20News10/7/20Gamers, Are You Not Seeing All The Olives We Left Around The Expo Hall For You? Gotta Be Like 500 Dollars Worth Here, Be A Huge Waste If No One Eats AnySo far, so good at our first-ever gaming conference! We’ve witnessed some amazing panels, dream-come-true…
Oct 7News10/7/20News10/7/20Come On, Man: Representatives From CD Projekt Red Are Completely Hogging All The Controllers At The Booth Where You Can Try Out ‘Cyberpunk 2077’ Even Though It’s Their Own GameYou know what, OGN readers? We’ve seen some pretty unprofessional behavior before in the gaming industry, but this…