Apr 8News4/8/21News4/8/21Relief: ‘Monster Hunter Rise’ Includes A Dossier Of Each Monster’s Problematic Behavior So You Don’t Feel Bad When You Kill ThemBoy, we have been absolutely loving our last few weeks slicing up Rachnoids and exploring the world outside Kamura…
Apr 6News4/6/21News4/6/21Tough: The New TMNT Game Follows A European Trip Where The Turtles Realize Their Fervent Italian-American Pride Has Little In Common With Modern Italian LifeWhen publisher Dotemu announced they were coming out with an all-new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game, everyone on…
Mar 31News3/31/21News3/31/21‘Elder Scrolls’ Update Imminent: Todd Howard’s Tracks Suggest His Blood Loss Is Slowing Him Down Too Much To Continue Outrunning UsGood tidings, Elder Scrolls fans! It’s been almost a decade since the last release in Bethesda’s beloved fantasy…
Mar 26News3/26/21News3/26/21Kind Gesture: ‘Halo Infinite’ Will Let Players Who Are Widows Download A Black Shawl For Master Chief To Wear In-GameBig news for widowed gamers! 343 Industries, developers of this year’s Halo Infinite, just confirmed that players…
Mar 24News3/24/21News3/24/21He Has To Realize On His Own: Wario Just Wondered Aloud What It Would Be Like If There Were An Evil Version Of MarioGamers, there are times when lending a hand is the right thing to do, and times when it’s better to stand back give…
Mar 18News3/18/21News3/18/21Gamers, We’re Not Saying You Shouldn’t Scatter Your Ashes At Super Nintendo World, But You Need To Stagger It Because It Looks Like Pompeii HereEver since Nintendo announced their plans to open a theme park in Universal Studios Japan, we’ve been waiting with…
Mar 17News3/17/21News3/17/21Loving Support: This Man Brought His Xbox To The Delivery Room So His Wife Could Watch Him Play ‘Assassin’s Creed’ While In LaborGamers, if there’s anything we know about parenting, it’s that marriage is a team effort. That’s why we were so…
Mar 12News3/12/21News3/12/21Hey Gamers, Our Source Inside Nintendo Disappeared And We Just Received His Gaming Hand In A Box So Don’t Expect Any News For A WhileReaders, for decades you’ve come to OGN for the latest news and inside scoops about Nintendo. Unfortunately, today…
Mar 10News3/10/21News3/10/21Scam Alert: This Guy Thought He Was Buying An Authentic PS5 On eBay, But Received Mark Rothko’s ‘1957 # 20’ InsteadWith PlayStation 5 supplies running low across the country, many gamers are turning to third-party vendors to access…
Mar 5News3/5/21News3/5/21Principled Stand: Pedro Pascal Has Walked Off HBO’s ‘The Last Of Us’ After Realizing It’s Not The Kind Of Game That Involves Collecting OrbsEver since HBO announced The Last Of Us would be coming to the network as a series, fans have been waiting with…
Mar 1News3/1/21News3/1/21Wow: You Can Actually Just Press ‘L3’ To Talk To The Enemies In ‘Demon’s Souls,’ And It Turns Out They’re Really NiceEver since the release of the Demon’s Souls remake in November, we’ve been slashing our way through some of the…
Feb 23News2/23/21News2/23/21Gaming Win: This Pro Gamer Did Something Terrible And Everyone Is Sweeping It Under The Rug Like He’s A Real CelebrityLet’s face it, readers, society at large has historically looked down on video gaming. Even as the medium has surged…
Feb 18News2/18/21News2/18/21We’ve Seen Enough: OGN Is Officially Calling The State Of New Hampshire For GamersAll right, that’s it, folks! After extensive conversation among the experts at the Onion Gamer’s Network Decision…
Feb 12News2/12/21News2/12/21Jesus Christ: Mario And Yoshi Used A Warp Block At The Same Time And Emerged Onto The Mario Party Board As A Horrifying, Fused MonstrosityOh, Jesus fucking Christ. Gamers, this is bad. This is really bad. We don’t know how this happened exactly, but we…
Feb 11News2/11/21News2/11/21End Of An Era: Sony Just Announced They’re Stopping Production Of The PS5Get ready to experience a roller coaster of emotions, Sony diehards. In a press conference early Thursday morning,…
Feb 1News2/1/21News2/1/21Confused About The GameStop Stock Situation? Here’s An Explainer We Plagiarized Wholesale From Polygon Because We Don’t Get It Either UPDATE: We’ve been informed by our legal team that taking an article wholesale from another website is not…
Jan 29News1/29/21News1/29/21Bad News For Gamers: OGN Has Learned Ocarinas Are Real And They Goddamn SuckIf you were as big of a fan of Ocarina Of Time as a kid, you must have tons of fond memories of using the game’s…
Jan 25News1/25/21News1/25/21Rest Easy: Bethesda Announces That Shia LaBeouf Will Appear In ‘Indiana Jones’ Game But His Character Dies Almost ImmediatelyDetails about Bethesda’s upcoming Indiana Jones game have been hush-hush ever since they shared a teaser trailer…
Jan 22News1/22/21News1/22/21Rumors Confirmed: IO Interactive Confirms Agent 47’s Barcode Brings Up Del Monte Whole Green Beans When ScannedWith the Hitman trilogy finally wrapping up this month, series fans everywhere can celebrate a fittingly badass end…