OXFORD, ENGLAND—In an uncharacteristically frank and revelatory discussion of his inspirations and creative process,…
HINSDALE, IL—Saying the money was already burning a hole in his pocket, lottery ticket holder Frank Cantrell confirmed…
SOUTH DEERFIELD, MA—Offering sincere apologies to customers for the misunderstanding, Yankee Candle clarified Thursday…
ATLANTA—Informing the more than 150 million Americans affected by the error that the mistake was “totally our bad,”…
AUSTIN, TX—Emphasizing that the state had done nothing so far to merit anything besides the status quo, a new attack ad…
WASHINGTON—In what is being described as a “close call” for the aircraft’s passengers and crew, sources reported that…
NAPLES, FL—Noting that the sick colleague had been instructed to “take it easy” and “hang in there,” local brand…
CHICAGO—Telling reporters that the additional scrutiny had yielded promising results, authorities confirmed Wednesday…
NEW YORK—Noting that it was becoming increasingly crucial for those in high-risk jobs to invest for retirement as early…
WASHINGTON—Providing vital new insight into their ancestral roots, a homemade DNA test self-administered by Eric and…
TULSA, OK—Saying that the admission represented a momentous new step in their relationship, advertising salesman Vince…
LOS ANGELES—Discussing how narrative cohesion would be maintained in the new sitcom, the showrunner of the upcoming Rose…
ROCKFORD, IL—Saying that the jovial drawing will forever signify their bond of goodwill, local father Gary Ericson…
NASHVILLE, TN—Hastily shooing away the varmints with corn whisk brooms, members of the Tennessee State Election…
RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA—In a press conference ahead of a meeting with U.S. secretary of state Mike Pompeo, Saudi Crown…
SIERRA VISTA, AZ—Looking around in a panic as he realized he had been left all alone, ICE agent Derek Borland was…
TUSCALOOSA, AL—In an effort to prevent further alcohol-related tragedy, University of Alabama administrators announced…
NEW YORK CITY—Taking drastic measures to silence their critics, Saudi Arabia reportedly sent assassins to dismember the…
LONDON—Visibly upset as she huddled into her chair and glanced around the Family Planning Association waiting room, a…
DENVER, CO—Noting that the pathetic 30-year-old may as well have been invisible to the men around her, sources…