WASHINGTON—In what is being described as a “close call” for the aircraft’s passengers and crew, sources reported that…
NAPLES, FL—Noting that the sick colleague had been instructed to “take it easy” and “hang in there,” local brand…
CHICAGO—Telling reporters that the additional scrutiny had yielded promising results, authorities confirmed Wednesday…
NEW YORK—Noting that it was becoming increasingly crucial for those in high-risk jobs to invest for retirement as early…
WASHINGTON—Providing vital new insight into their ancestral roots, a homemade DNA test self-administered by Eric and…
TULSA, OK—Saying that the admission represented a momentous new step in their relationship, advertising salesman Vince…
LOS ANGELES—Discussing how narrative cohesion would be maintained in the new sitcom, the showrunner of the upcoming Rose…
ROCKFORD, IL—Saying that the jovial drawing will forever signify their bond of goodwill, local father Gary Ericson…
NASHVILLE, TN—Hastily shooing away the varmints with corn whisk brooms, members of the Tennessee State Election…
RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA—In a press conference ahead of a meeting with U.S. secretary of state Mike Pompeo, Saudi Crown…
SIERRA VISTA, AZ—Looking around in a panic as he realized he had been left all alone, ICE agent Derek Borland was…
TUSCALOOSA, AL—In an effort to prevent further alcohol-related tragedy, University of Alabama administrators announced…
NEW YORK CITY—Taking drastic measures to silence their critics, Saudi Arabia reportedly sent assassins to dismember the…
LONDON—Visibly upset as she huddled into her chair and glanced around the Family Planning Association waiting room, a…
DENVER, CO—Noting that the pathetic 30-year-old may as well have been invisible to the men around her, sources…
DUNCANVILLE, TX—Beckoning the boy to come closer so “Nana can feel those washboard abs,” local grandmother Shirley…
DENVER—Realizing with horror that they had forgotten to do a final sweep of the neonatal intensive care unit, nurses at…
SAN FRANCISCO—Admitting it would be rather awkward to come clean at this juncture now, retired American Airlines pilot…
PHILADELPHIA—Throughout the runtime of the two-hour movie, local mother of three Barbara Rosenstock, 62, took several…
LOS ANGELES—Insisting that a new age of unwinding was upon the world if they only paid attention, Kanye West jumped…