CIA Finds Definitive Evidence Of Second Shooter In JFK Assassination

Jared Kushner Claims That Russian Interference Less Damaging To U.S. Democracy Than Saudi Arabia, Nepotism, Israel, Cambridge Analytica, UAE, Illicit Donations, Erik Prince, Bill Barr, And Financial Entanglements

Line Item On Aetna Insurance Bill Just ‘Paying For CEO’s Yacht’

9-Foot-Tall Bernie Sanders Greets Supporters After Session With Posture Coach

Woman Jealous Of Horse’s Eyelashes

Peeps Unveils New Boneless, Skinless Marshmallow Breasts

Stephen Miller Palms ICE Agent $50 Bill In Exchange For A Little Alone Time With Detained Migrants

Dressing Room Curtain Tested For Vulnerabilities

Lazy Minor League Promotion Just ‘Baseball Night At The Stadium’

Light Beer Healthiest Food Option At Stadium

Notre Dame Gargoyle Going To Stay As Still As Possible Until Arson Investigator Gone

Friend Has Some Jerky In Clear, Unlabeled Bag For You To Try

Dog A Pervert In Ways Owner Will Never Know

Experts Warn Prosecuting Assange Creates Slippery Slope To Where We Already Are

Kid About To Meet Brooklyn Nets Must Not Be Very Sick

Frustrated Writer Tosses Another Crumpled-Up Laptop In Trash Can

Complete Psychopath Meets Proper Screen Time, Sleep, Exercise Guidelines

Devin Nunes Files Lawsuit Against Parents For Derailing Russia Investigation By Giving Birth To Total Dud

‘New York Times’ Announces New Columnist Will Contribute Nothing To Society 3 Times A Week

Astronaut Piloting Cargo Ship Leaves Note On Side Of ISS After Accidentally Knocking Off Solar Array