Ann Coulter Attacks Trump For Cowardly Backing Down From Full On Race War

Beached Whale Trying To Hold On Until Sea Levels Rise

Chef Justice Luigi Vespucci Issues Spicy Dissent On Puttanesca V. Arrabiata

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Criticized For Preventing 25,000 New York Evictions

NYPD Deploys New Line Of Plain Clothes Cop Cars

‘Wait, Mr. Bezos, You Forgot Your Tax Subsidy!’ Says Andrew Cuomo Running Behind Limo

Boss Makes Lipstick Prints On Paychecks For Valentine’s Day

This Actually Good News, Contractor Reveals, Because Now You Know The Real Problem

Woman Wakes Husband Up On Valentine’s Day With Hot Surprise Blowtorch

Man Hoping Girlfriend Doesn’t Notice Valentine’s Day Gift Came From Gas Station

Congress Agrees To $1.3 Billion For Protective Border Fencers

Ilhan Omar Thankful For Colleagues Educating Her On Painful History AIPAC Lobbyists Have Had To Endure

Sentimental Old Founder Renames Company J.D. Power And Friends

Nancy Pelosi Signals Support For Environmental Causes By Placing Green New Deal Directly Into Recycling Bin

‘What A Crew!’ Comments Man On Instagram Photo Of Fucking Backstabbing Traitors Who Couldn’t Be Bothered To Invite Him To Margarita Night

Report: West Virginia Feeling Pretty Smug Right About Now

Pope Francis: ‘Jesus—I Get Molesting Kids, But Nuns Too?’

Winded Trump Forced To Lie Down For Last Half Of Speech

Kavanaugh Offers Elena Kagan Pull Of Vodka From Aquafina Bottle

‘Someone In This Room Tonight Will Be Murdered By An Illegal Immigrant,’ Announces Trump Just Before Lights Go Out