The Inventory

America's Finest News Source.

Woman Seamlessly Transitions From Being Too Hungry To Focus On Job To Being Too Full To Focus On Job

Entire Pickup Game Spent Consumed By Fear Of Being Passed To

Kennedy Curse Sure Taking Its Sweet Time With RFK Jr.

Thursday 3:58PM

Woman Thankful She Has Type Of Alien Looking Face That Makes Her Hot

Thursday 10:57AM

Defiant Evangelicals Branch Off Into New ‘First Molestist’ Sub-Denomination

Thursday 8:40AM

Sports Bar Makes More Room For TVs By Getting Rid Of Tables, Chairs, Bartenders, Customers

Wednesday 4:25PM

Cat Dead Set On Finding Way Into Mirror

Wednesday 7:30AM

De Blasio Courts Iowa Voters By Winning ‘Largest Candidate’ At Polk County Fair

Missing Mount Everest Climbers Feared Buried Under Avalanche Of Dead Mount Everest Climbers

Kotex Introduces New Leak-Proof Brush-On Vaginal Sealant

Mood Of Sex Dungeon Undercut By Sight Of Plug-In Air Freshener

Gamers Rejoice! This Potion Restores 20 HP

Jay-Z Vows Not To Lose Touch With Millionaire Roots On Gritty Throwback Track About Buying First Yacht

Queen Elizabeth Unnerved By Stephen Miller’s Requests To Sample Royal Baby

6/03/19 12:55PM

Defensive Laura Ingraham Challenges Critics To Try Making List Of Prominent Conservatives Without Including Few White Supremacists

Chuck Schumer Condemns Mitch McConnell For Being Way Better At This Than Him

5/29/19 11:18AM

10-Pound Fetus About To Fucking Wreck Small Mom

‘Why Are You Still Sleeping On U.S. Women’s Soccer?’ Asks Sports Website’s First Article About Women’s Soccer In Four Years

Depressed Monkey Throwing Shit At Himself

Lowe’s Unveils New Table Saw With Attached Ice Chest For Storing Cut-Off Fingers

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