‘Oh, Was I Not Enough For You?’ Amazon Echo Asks Couple Bringing New Baby Home

Local Clan Attempts To Intimidate Rivals With Aggressive Display Of Fertility

Petting Zoo All Goats

Michigan GOP Passes Legislation Rerouting Flint Drinking Water To Governor’s Mansion For Incoming Democrat

Fourth Verse Of Christmas Carol Gets Super Religious

Optometrist Sets Pressure Of Air Puff Test Way Higher For Asshole Patients

Scott Walker Changes Locks On Wisconsin Governor’s Office

Grieving Nation Solemnly Waits Extra Day For Their Amazon Shit

Furloughed Willie Horton Pays Respects At George H.W. Bush Funeral

Ohio State Begins Scouting For Next Scandal

Excited Shopper Decides To Wear New Butt Plug Out Of Store

George H.W. Bush Remembered For Vast Contributions To AIDS Quilting Community

Oliver Stone Thriller ‘Individual 1’ Already Written, Filmed, Nominated For 5 Golden Globes

Great Mosque Of Mecca Hosts Annual Christmas Tree Lighting

Playtex Unveils New Line Of Quick-Dissolving Tampons

Argentina Tightens Security In Anticipation Of Numerous Criminals Arriving For G20

Matt Lauer Spending More Time With Friends, Family After Installing Automatic Locking Devices On Doors At Home

‘You’ve Got Them Right Where You Want Them, Mikey,’ Michael Cohen Mutters To Self After Pleading Guilty Again

2078 Nancy Pelosi Hologram Nominated For 38th Term In House As Party Leader

GM Announces Money Saved From Layoffs To Fund Massive Investment In Lake Homes, Private Jets