Greyhound Now Offering Premium Upgrade To Slightly Less Disgusting Seats
DALLAS—In an effort to cater toward customers seeking a slightly less revolting bus-riding experience, transportation…
Report: Slamming Boss Against Wall, Shouting ‘Cash! I Need More Cash!’ Still Leading Tactic For Securing Raise
WASHINGTON—Calling it the most effective method for reaching one’s full earning potential, a report issued Thursday by…
Report: Many Companies Now Offering Women Permanent, Unpaid Maternity Leave
WASHINGTON—As part of a nationwide effort to accommodate women in the workplace, many U.S. companies are now offering…
Teacher Who Learns More From Her Students Than She Teaches Them Fired
CINCINNATI—Explaining that her statements indicated a failure to understand and implement the district’s goal of…
Child Development Experts Say Boys Not Fully Mature Until Avenging Father’s Murder
WASHINGTON—Citing the central role the process plays in cognitive development, a study released Thursday by the…
Salt Lake City Hoping To Boost Tourism By Reminding Visitors They’re Free To Leave At Any Time
SALT LAKE CITY—In a move designed to help the metropolitan area attract more tourists, Salt Lake City officials…
Maybelline Introduces New Ideal-Woman Rubber Mask To Use In Place Of Makeup
NEW YORK—Touting it as their most stylish and advanced beauty product to date, officials from global cosmetics brand…
Doctors Say Average Heart Attack Victim Doesn’t Clutch At Chest Nearly Dramatically Enough
DALLAS—According to the results of a study published Thursday by the American Heart Association, most heart attack…
Report: 76% Of Sleepaway Campers’ Parents Beginning Trial Separation
WASHINGTON—A report released Friday by the U.S. Administration for Children and Families confirmed that more than…
This Minnesota State Museum’s Final Offer To Owner Of Couch From ‘Mary Tyler Moore’ Set
MINNEAPOLIS—According to a firm statement given Thursday by the institution’s staff, this is the final offer that the…
Last-Ditch Dating Website Simply Asks Users To Check ‘Yes’ If They Have Open Sores
NEW YORK—Offering one-click companionship for singles who have exhausted all other options, new last-ditch dating…
Report: Average Male 4,000% Less Effective In Fights Than They Imagine
WASHINGTON—Contradicting the long-held belief that they would just go off and destroy anyone who tried to mess with…
Nation’s Blakes Cruise Easily Through Lifeguard Tryouts
WASHINGTON—According to incoming reports from beaches and pools across the country this week, lifeguard tryouts were…
Bounty Launches Beginner Series For People New To Paper Towels
CINCINNATI—In an effort to reach out to first-time paper towel users, Procter & Gamble introduced a beginner series of…
High School Student, Teacher Applying For Same Summer Waitressing Job
PITTSFIELD, IL—Noting that it would be nice to finally have a little spending cash on hand, both Pittsfield High School…
Study: Most Serial Killers Did Not Receive Toy Every Time They Went To Store As Kids
MINNEAPOLIS—A study published Thursday in The American Journal Of Criminal Psychology has found a nearly perfect…
Kay Jewelers Recalls 2 Million Cursed Wedding Rings
AKRON, OH—Apologizing to customers for “any discomfort or searing of the flesh” on their ring fingers, Kay Jewelers…
Small Business Still Manages To Mistreat Workers Like Large Corporate Chain
MARFA, TX—Employees at Gillman’s Hardware confirmed Monday that despite the company’s small size, single location, and…
Doctor Recalls Average-Looking Sibling Who Inspired Him To Go Into Cosmetic Surgery
MINNETONKA, MN—Saying he had witnessed up close the daily hardships endured by a young person impaired by a bland,…
Couple Keeps It Interesting By Bickering In Different Positions, Rooms
OVERLAND PARK, KS—Saying that spontaneity is key to spicing up a marriage, local couple Dale and Barbara Patterson told…
