10/11/19

9:00 AM

Onion Magazine10/11/19

The Awful Baboon: How We Wish It Were Endangered

10/4/19

2:42 PM

Onion Magazine10/4/19

Onion Magazine10/4/19

We Finally Found Where The Termites Are Coming From

9/27/19

1:22 PM

Onion Magazine9/27/19

Onion Magazine9/27/19

I Was Overweight, Depressed, Broke, Drinking Too Much, Tired All The Time, Unhappily Married, Had Terrible Breath, My Penis Was Bleeding, Like, A Lot, My Pets Were Dying On A Daily Basis, I Was In The KKK, I Had Committed 17 Murders, I Was 86 Years Old, I Was A Heavy Smoker, And I Only Had One Tooth Which Was Over A Foot Long. Here’s How I Turned It All Around.

9/20/19

12:54 PM

Onion Magazine9/20/19

Onion Magazine9/20/19

7 Benches Near Your Office Where You Can Eat Lunch In Fucking Peace

9/13/19

10:00 AM

Onion Magazine9/13/19

Onion Magazine9/13/19

Bob Dylan On How He Likes His Corn And Why He Likes His Corn

9/6/19

2:53 PM

Onion Magazine9/6/19

Onion Magazine9/6/19

We Substituted Hammers With Meatless Burgers To See If Carpenters Noticed The Difference

7/12/19

10:08 AM

Onion Magazine7/12/19

Onion Magazine7/12/19

I’m Pregnant And You’re The Father

6/28/19

10:28 AM

Onion Magazine6/28/19

Onion Magazine6/28/19

Here’s The Wi-Fi And Password. Let Us Know If It Doesn’t Work For Whatever Reason

6/21/19

9:45 AM

Onion Magazine6/21/19

Onion Magazine6/21/19

Get Down And Blog The Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson Way!

6/14/19

12:18 PM

Onion Magazine6/14/19

Onion Magazine6/14/19

803 Years, 803 Memories: Bon Jovi Looks Back At The Magna Carta

6/7/19

12:52 PM

Onion Magazine6/7/19

Onion Magazine6/7/19

We Gave This Homeless Man A Haircut And A New Wardrobe And Now He Really Seems Out Of Place At The Shelter

5/31/19

9:06 AM

Onion Magazine5/31/19

Onion Magazine5/31/19

Let’s Hear It For Caulk!

5/23/19

12:30 PM

Onion Magazine5/23/19

Onion Magazine5/23/19

A Country Divided: The Onion Takes An In-Depth Look At How State Boundaries Work

2/8/19

5:04 PM

Onion Magazine2/8/19

Onion Magazine2/8/19

We Predict Who Will Watch The Grammys This Sunday

1/25/19

9:55 AM

Onion Magazine1/25/19

Onion Magazine1/25/19

We Sat Down With 10 Doctors And Asked, Is It Cancer? Oh God, It’s Cancer, Isn’t It?

1/18/19

9:29 AM

Onion Magazine1/18/19

Onion Magazine1/18/19

Ready For Her Close-Up: This Actress Is Ready For Her Close-Up

12/28/18

12:00 PM

Onion Magazine12/28/18

Onion Magazine12/28/18

Remembering Michael Caine: Not Dead Yet, But It’s Still Nice To Be Thought About From Time To Time

12/7/18

10:38 AM

Onion Magazine12/7/18

Onion Magazine12/7/18

The Swimsuit Issue

11/30/18

11:20 AM

Onion Magazine11/30/18

Onion Magazine11/30/18

In High School They Called Him ‘Hog Fucker.’ Now He Fucks Hogs For The Stars.

11/23/18

11:08 AM

Onion Magazine11/23/18

Onion Magazine11/23/18

Could Winning The House And 7 Governorships Spell The End Of The Democratic Party?

5 Things To Know About ‘Zombieland: Double Tap’

2019 Nobel Prize Winners

5 Things To Know About ‘El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie’

The Awful Baboon: How We Wish It Were Endangered

We Finally Found Where The Termites Are Coming From

7 Benches Near Your Office Where You Can Eat Lunch In Fucking Peace

Bob Dylan On How He Likes His Corn And Why He Likes His Corn

We Substituted Hammers With Meatless Burgers To See If Carpenters Noticed The Difference

I’m Pregnant And You’re The Father

Here’s The Wi-Fi And Password. Let Us Know If It Doesn’t Work For Whatever Reason

Get Down And Blog The Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson Way!

803 Years, 803 Memories: Bon Jovi Looks Back At The Magna Carta

We Gave This Homeless Man A Haircut And A New Wardrobe And Now He Really Seems Out Of Place At The Shelter

Let’s Hear It For Caulk!

A Country Divided: The Onion Takes An In-Depth Look At How State Boundaries Work

We Predict Who Will Watch The Grammys This Sunday

We Sat Down With 10 Doctors And Asked, Is It Cancer? Oh God, It’s Cancer, Isn’t It?

Ready For Her Close-Up: This Actress Is Ready For Her Close-Up

Remembering Michael Caine: Not Dead Yet, But It’s Still Nice To Be Thought About From Time To Time

The Swimsuit Issue

In High School They Called Him ‘Hog Fucker.’ Now He Fucks Hogs For The Stars.

Could Winning The House And 7 Governorships Spell The End Of The Democratic Party?

‘Oh Goddamnit,’ Says Pete Buttigieg After Realizing None Of Opponents Dressed Up For Pre-Halloween Debate

Wings And A Pair

911 Operator Informs Black Caller That Death Is On The Way

The Awful Baboon: How We Wish It Were Endangered

We Finally Found Where The Termites Are Coming From

7 Benches Near Your Office Where You Can Eat Lunch In Fucking Peace

Bob Dylan On How He Likes His Corn And Why He Likes His Corn

We Substituted Hammers With Meatless Burgers To See If Carpenters Noticed The Difference

I’m Pregnant And You’re The Father

Here’s The Wi-Fi And Password. Let Us Know If It Doesn’t Work For Whatever Reason

Get Down And Blog The Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson Way!

803 Years, 803 Memories: Bon Jovi Looks Back At The Magna Carta

We Gave This Homeless Man A Haircut And A New Wardrobe And Now He Really Seems Out Of Place At The Shelter

Let’s Hear It For Caulk!

A Country Divided: The Onion Takes An In-Depth Look At How State Boundaries Work

We Predict Who Will Watch The Grammys This Sunday

We Sat Down With 10 Doctors And Asked, Is It Cancer? Oh God, It’s Cancer, Isn’t It?

Ready For Her Close-Up: This Actress Is Ready For Her Close-Up

Remembering Michael Caine: Not Dead Yet, But It’s Still Nice To Be Thought About From Time To Time

The Swimsuit Issue

In High School They Called Him ‘Hog Fucker.’ Now He Fucks Hogs For The Stars.

Could Winning The House And 7 Governorships Spell The End Of The Democratic Party?