Oct 3 2014
Obama is currently being chased around in the background of a Secret Service hearing, U.S. officials assure Hong…
Onion Review
Sep 26 2014
7.1 billion people demonstrate in favor of global warming, Obama now sleeps with a Louisville Slugger under his bed,…
Sep 19 2014
Experts confirm the British Empire will be reduced to 8 square acres around Buckingham Palace by 2050, a reclusive…
Sep 12 2014
The NFL announces a new zero-tolerance policy on videotaped domestic violence, a puzzled nation can remember the…
Sep 5 2014
I-90 adds a lane for drivers traveling cross country to stop a woman from marrying the wrong man, a job applicant…
Aug 29 2014
An unpopular police officer thinks about committing a racially motivated offense for a little support, a middle-aged…
Aug 22 2014
A battleship is awkwardly propped up against the Ferguson Police Department, an area Facebook user is incredibly…
Aug 15 2014
A local man feels even lazier when he thinks about how much ISIS has accomplished this year, a police officer…
Aug 8 2014
A civilian casualty is flattered to have been mistaken for a Hamas leader, the entirety of a man’s personal data is…
Aug 1 2014
Medical experts announce that an Ebola vaccine is at least 50 white people away from being developed, a new poll…
Jul 25 2014
A new report finds climate change skeptics could reach catastrophic levels by 2020, the nation’s gratuitously sexual…
Jul 18 2014
Everyone in the Middle East is given their own country in a 317,000,000-state solution, NASA announces plans to…
Jun 27 2014
The U.S. Government sets aside 600,000 acres of pristine land for future generations to pollute, John Kerry says ‘to…
Jun 20 2014
A prison rights group protests the treatment of supervillains in the nation’s magnetic detainment cubes, a local dad…
Jun 13 2014
States offer millions in tax breaks to any person who says ‘high-tech jobs,’ a child is entertained for five minutes…
Jun 6 2014
New EPA regulations force power plants to find 30% more loopholes by 2030, President Obama already knows who he’s…
May 30 2014
The only nation where this regularly happens concludes that there’s no way to prevent this, a college rape victim is…
May 23 2014
Scientists politely remind the world that clean energy technology is ready to go whenever, a new study finds most…
May 16 2014
Congress splits into male and female senators to discuss the newest reproductive bill, a man feels guilty about…
May 9 2014
A poll finds 56% of voters think the country is better off than it was 4 eons ago, a brutally honest new Revlon ad…