Cackling NPR Host Warns Upcoming Segment May Feature Content Too Dark, Too Chilling, Too Positively Ghoulish For Young Listeners

WASHINGTON—Urging audiences to spare their children from the disturbing story ahead, a cackling Terry Gross warned that an upcoming segment may feature content too dark, too chilling, too positively ghoulish for young listeners. “Beware, my friends, for the tale I bring before you now contains terrors so horrid, so nightmarish, so disturbing that listeners under 12 may be haunted by their dark visages for many nights to come!” said the Fresh Air host, letting out a deep, ominous chuckle as she teased the beginning of an interview with a survivor of the Rwandan genocide, advising adult listeners that the nasty delights offered within the story might overwhelm those with delicate constitutions. “Such horrific twists and turns are unfit for the tender ears of little ones; indeed, only those well acquainted with the shadowy depths of the human soul should partake of the tapestry of terror I will weave for you today. Take heed, one and all, lest you die of fright!” At press time, the maniacally laughing Gross took a moment to remind all listeners of NPR’s upcoming pledge drive.


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