Candidate Profile: Mike Huckabee

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Former Arkansas governor and Fox News personality Mike Huckabee announced his 2016 presidential candidacy Tuesday, becoming the sixth Republican hopeful to officially enter the race. Here’s what you need to know about Huckabee:

  • Born: August 24, 1955
  • Born Again: September 15, 1982
  • Voter Base: Future Scott Walker supporters
  • Concept Of Hellfire Plays Role In Worldview: Yes
  • Slogan: “Mike Huckabee? Sure, okay.”
  • Campaign Promise: Shore up Social Security to ensure it lasts until End Times
  • Political Advantage: Most likable candidate by default
  • Central Beliefs: Believes homosexuality is a choice; considers abortion akin to slavery; wants to bring common sense back to America
  • Biggest Strength: Last name has optimal number of syllables for chanting
  • Political Experience: Knows what it’s like to quietly fade away on big stage
  • Tour Bus: To-scale replica of Noah’s Ark
  • Campaign Goal: Strengthen salary negotiating position with Fox News