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Capitalist Heroes! This Vape Company has Found a Way to Monetize Sadness

All vape products can worsen depression symptoms but one innovative marketing team is proudly promoting it.

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There’s no doubt about it, sadness is very hot right now. Depression, anxiety, anger, social media outrage, political unrest – people across the country are absolutely swimming in negative emotions. And one innovative marketing team has developed a way to monetize it.

The company is called Depression Stick! and they are the first company to openly market the fact that vaping nicotine can amplify feelings of depression and anxiety. The marketing tactic is credited to VP of Marketing, Craig, who says, “We noticed a popular trend of people experiencing mental health issues, especially the youngsters. And studies show that nicotine products can make those feelings even worse so we decided to capitalize on that. In the marketing world that’s what we call a jackpot!”


Depression Stick! is not the only vape that can make it harder to cope with depression symptoms but they are the first to use this fact in their brand messaging. “All the other brands were boasting their fruity flavors and brightly colored cartridges with images of handsome 20-somethings. But I’m looking at all these bummed out people and thinking, ‘We can do that and more. Why don’t we just tell them our products may make them even sadder?! Said the VP, “Above everything, young people value honesty, and honestly, we hope our products make them feel like shit!”

But it’s more than just the product’s name. Depression Stick! is pushing out this new brand message in a variety of ways. They’re enlisting the help of influencers to ask their followers, “Are you down to feel down?” They’re putting up giant billboards in one of the saddest places in the nation – Times Square. They’re also releasing digital ads trying out new taglines like “Inhale the bummerz,” “Sadness, now in Cookies & Cream,” and “Reach a new low. Reach for a Depression Stick!


The company insists it’s all about listening to your customers, “Young people just want to feel heard and right now we hear them saying, ‘Me want sad.’ That’s why our flavorologists have developed a slew of moody-inspired flavors including Melon-choly, Bubble Glum, Disappoint-mint, I’m Berry Upset, Banana Scream Pie, and my personal favorite, ManGo Away. Delicious!”

Depression Stick! says their dedication to capitalizing on the mental health of customers goes well beyond their advertising. They have plans to raise their prices at random intervals to upset customers. They’ve shrunk their customer service hours to 15 minutes every other day. And every purchase comes with a Sad-isfaction Guarantee to lower the quality of your mental stability or your money back. They’ve recently announced a goal to get sadness into the minds and bodies of 70% of people by 2030.


If you’re interested in getting sad check out Depression Stick! here.

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