Castaway Ate Turtles, Birds While Stranded 13 Months At Sea

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A man calling himself Jose Salvador Alvarenga washed ashore in the Marshall Islands this week after allegedly being lost over a year at sea, explaining that he survived by eating birds and turtles and drinking his own urine, though authorities are still trying to verify his claims. What do you think?

“Big deal. I ate turtles and drank my own urine for 13 months without ever stepping foot outside my house.”

Dwier Ottley • Unemployed

“See, this is exactly why I never go swimming without a knapsack full of hot dogs and Gatorade.”

Maya Reid • Pearl Restorer


“Sometimes I wish I could get away from it all for a year and have authorities check up on my story.”

Frank Kieferle • Claims Adjuster