Celebrities Reveal Why They Actually Divorced Their Spouse

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Gwyneth Paltrow

“After years of Chris constantly asking me to check out his band, I finally did and, look, even I have limits.”

3 / 25

Tom Cruise

“Nicole Kidman? Haha! Great, so great! Thank you for asking. Hope you have an outstanding day!”

4 / 25

Tiger Woods

“Elin [Nordegren] said I was obsessed with golf, but when I started sleeping with other women, that wasn’t good enough either.”

5 / 25

Ryan Reynolds

“It was tough, Scarlett told me I just wasn’t enough for her. She said she wanted a man who could make her break out in an amused half-smile every day.”

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Pamela Anderson

“All of them complained about my beloved eels.”

7 / 25

Sandra Bullock

“I was an Academy Award-winning actress; he was the star of Monster Garage with appearances on Sons Of Guns and Spike TV. It was never going to work. I was just too intimidated.”

8 / 25

Amy Poehler

“Will Arnett and I actually split because we wanted to see millions of sicko fans cry about how our divorce meant love was dead.”

9 / 25

Katy Perry

“You’ve heard Russell Brand say even one thing, yes?”

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Ben Affleck

“Before we made a long-term commitment, Jennifer [Garner] and I should have talked openly about how much I’d want to one day fuck our nanny.”

11 / 25

Jason Sudekis

“Wait what? I need to make a call right now.”

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Kim Kardashian

“Sometimes you look at someone and you just think, you know, I’m just not the same person I was when we got married 72 days ago. And that’s why I split with Kris Humphries.”

13 / 25

Dennis Quaid

“Meg Ryan refused to convert to Islam.”

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Anna Faris

“Chris Pratt and I made a suicide pact and then both backed out of it at the last minute. We just stood there, unfired pistols to our hands, and we knew the marriage was over.”

15 / 25

Katie Holmes

“I really want to tell you, but my NDA doesn’t run out for another 9,991 years.”

16 / 25

Carmen Electra

“Everyone knew Dennis [Rodman] had a reputation, so I shouldn’t have been surprised that he insisted on natural granite countertops when I was pushing for soapstone. We were always doomed.”

17 / 25

Demi Moore

“He lied to me about his age. I was shocked. He told me he was a 53-year-old real estate lawyer. Turns out he was just some 20-something prank show host.”

18 / 25

George Clooney

“We’re still happily married, but the minute Nespresso tells me to, I’ll dump Amal on the side of the road.”

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Chris Pratt

“Basically, Anna Faris and I have been in entertainment for so long that we have the intellectual development of 12-year-olds and the egos of omnipotent gods. Combine those two, put us together in an environment of crass consumerism, and you have a recipe for a relationship imploding.”

20 / 25

Angelina Jolie

“Mostly, I wanted to see old photos of Brad [Pitt] and I with a big crack photoshopped through the middle.”

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Geena Davis

“People like to sensationalize my marriage to Jeff [Goldblum], but at the end of the day, we’re both just fame-obsessed sociopaths like anyone else.”

22 / 25

Rita Wilson

“Sometimes people change. God, please don’t tell him yet, it’s going to break his heart.”

23 / 25

Gavin Rossdale

“Me? I don’t know if you’d technically call me a celebrity. But, sure, I was married to Gwen Stefani and it ended.”

24 / 25

Kanye West

“It can be hard, I respect the genius, but all geniuses are a little crazy too, and that can make it hard to live the kind of life I really want. But me and Kanye will always be best friends.”