Celebrity Chefs Share Their Favorite Thanksgiving Cooking Hacks

Tired of overcooked turkey, canned gravy, and grandma’s tasteless green bean casserole? Then it’s time to call in the pros. We asked celebrity chefs to share their favorite Thanksgiving cooking hacks, and this is what they said.

Rachael Ray

“My 30-minute Thanksgiving meal? Pop that bird in the oven at 3 o’clock, and by 3:30, you’ve got a 95% raw turkey that your guests are gonna love.”

Martha Stewart

“Stuffing your turkey with junk mail is a great way to get rid of clutter before guests arrive.”

Heston Blumenthal

“Thanksgiving dishes are made to be mixed. Everyone knows to crack open a liquid nitrogen cranberry sauce balloon and sprinkle some turkey spores inside, but try taking a bite of that while inhaling a canister of pumpkin pie vapor. Out of this world.”

Wolfgang Puck

“A tower of my signature-brand canned soups makes a wonderful centerpiece.”

Carla Hall

“I’d tell you, but I’ve reached my monthly article limit on the New York Times cooking website.”

Cat Cora

“Thanksgiving is so close to Halloween that I just recycle the leftover, half-eaten pumpkin pie that’s been sitting on the counter for a month and is covered in mold. Saves you the hassle of making the same dessert again.”

Emeril Lagasse

“Using a teeny-tiny carving knife will make your modest turkey look huge.”

Ina Garten

“It’s perfectly okay to cheat once in a while and put out some store-bought silverware.”

Guy Fieri

“Just invite over four world-renowned chefs to run around, play games, and make a dinner solely from items in the dog food aisle at your grocery store.”

Gordon Ramsay

“My hack is I don’t celebrate your fucking American holidays, so piss off.”

Anne Burrell

“Big microwave.”

Giada De Laurentiis

“Get drunk and eat Dunkin’ Donuts as the help uses your trademarked Giada Stainless Steel 4 Qt. Covered Dutch Oven to create a succulent meal.”

Lidia Bastianich

“Nobody is going to be upset if you serve them spaghetti. Everybody loves spaghetti.”

Maneet Chauhan

“For that extra light and fluffy mashed potato texture, replace potatoes’ skins with premium-grade imported silk.”

Bobby Flay

“Doesn’t matter what secrets you read. I’m still gonna come to your kitchen, make your signature turkey better than you ever could, and then I’ll fuck your wife and raise your kids just for the shit of it.”

Alton Brown

“Introduce the potatoes to each other and make sure they get along before you mash them together, otherwise they’ll taste distant and formal.”

Buddy Valastro

“My family buries the leftover bones from last year so we have a brand new turkey grow just in time for next Thanksgiving.

Rick Bayless

“Figure out the dish your guests like the most, then sell a worse version of it at airports.”