Illustration for article titled Census Adds Question Asking Participants To Identify Any Unpatriotic Neighborem/em

WASHINGTON—Saying the measure was necessary to provide more thorough statistical data on the country’s populace, the U.S. Department of Commerce announced Tuesday that a question asking participants to identify any unpatriotic neighbors was added to the 2020 decennial census. “This will aid the U.S. Census Bureau in finally gaining an accurate count of citizens who do not staunchly support the nation’s leaders and policies,” said Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross, adding that the new questionnaire would prompt respondents to submit the names of any friend, family member, or acquaintance in their community who does not express only the utmost devotion to their country or who voices skepticism about the current administration. “The aim of this question is only to provide complete and precise block-level census data on the traitorous demographic. The information will only be used in policy-making processes and determining the allocation of government funds for services such as law enforcement.” Ross added that residents who refused or neglected to provide complete and correct information would be immediately registered in the 2020 U.S. Census as disloyal and would face stiff punishment.


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