CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month

CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month

We may earn a commission from links on this page.
Start Slideshow
Image for article titled CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month
Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Jamie Dimon, Chase

Jamie Dimon, Chase

Image for article titled CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month

“I am going to challenge myself to read 10 words written by Black authors this month.”

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Mark Zuckerberg, Meta

Mark Zuckerberg, Meta

Image for article titled CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month

“I will temporarily desegregate the Metaverse.”

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Elon Musk, Twitter

Elon Musk, Twitter

Image for article titled CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month

“I’m going to unban civil rights groups for a few days.”

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Dirk Van De Put, Oreo

Dirk Van De Put, Oreo

Image for article titled CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month

“I don’t know, what, do you guys want, like, an all-Black Oreo or something?”

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Jane Fraser, Citigroup

Jane Fraser, Citigroup

Image for article titled CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month

“Definitely something that is both offensive and inadvisable, that’s for sure.”

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Mike Roman, 3M

Image for article titled CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month

“We are honoring Black communities by polluting them even more with new factories.”

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Damon Hininger, CoreCivic

Damon Hininger, CoreCivic

Image for article titled CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month

“We’re encouraging our private prison guards to go a little easier on the Black inmates.”

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Doug McMillon, Walmart

Doug McMillon, Walmart

Image for article titled CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month

“The Walton family is pleased to announce they’ve adopted the first Black Walmart heir.”

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Charles Scharf, Wells Fargo

Charles Scharf, Wells Fargo

Image for article titled CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month

“We’re opening up fake accounts using the names of prominent civil rights leaders.”

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Satya Nadella, Microsoft

Satya Nadella, Microsoft

Image for article titled CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month

“Same thing I do every Black History Month: fly to my estate in the Seychelles on February 1 and fly back on March 1.”

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Tim Cook, Apple

Tim Cook, Apple

Image for article titled CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month

“Oh, phew. I’m glad another one of these rolled around so I can deflect from the shit going on in Xinjiang.”

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Dara Khosrowshahi, Uber

Dara Khosrowshahi, Uber

Image for article titled CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month

“I am going to take money away from Black employees, spend it on several big showy billboards making us seem like a diverse company, and then immediately lay off those Black employees.”

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Kathy Warden, Northrop Grumman

Kathy Warden, Northrop Grumman

Image for article titled CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month

“In tribute to the activist Marcus Garvey, we’re putting a Pan-African flag on all the missiles we manufacture.”

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Warren Buffett, Berkshire Hathaway

Warren Buffett, Berkshire Hathaway

Image for article titled CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month

“See, this is everyone’s problem. All we want to talk about is race, when in America, the more significant dimension of inequality to analyze is class, wherein I am also at moral fault for perpetuating oppression.”

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Daymond John, FUBU

Daymond John, FUBU

Image for article titled CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month

“FUBU has no plans to honor Black people at this time. Thank you.”

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Marvin Ellison, Lowe’s

Marvin Ellison, Lowe’s

Image for article titled CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month

“As one of a very few Black CEOs, I’m celebrating by not allowing any criticism of myself as an employer this month.”

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Bob Iger, Disney

Bob Iger, Disney

Image for article titled CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month

“An animated short about like, I don’t know, a little girl growing up in Harlem in the 1920s from a talking saxophone’s point-of-view.”

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Marc Benioff, Salesforce

Marc Benioff, Salesforce

Image for article titled CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month

“I’m going to subject our entire 70,000-person workforce to the most cringeworthy Black history PowerPoint you’ve ever seen. Misrepresented MLK quotes, urgings to read White Fragility, ham-fisted appeals to vague and totally unworkable notions of justice, attempts to relate Rosa Parks’ brave advocacy to Salesforce’s corporate goals—it’ll all be there. Our Black employees are going to be really uncomfortable.”

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Jim Umpleby, Caterpillar

Jim Umpleby, Caterpillar

Image for article titled CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month

“Diversity tractor.”

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Sundar Pichai, Google

Sundar Pichai, Google

Image for article titled CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month

“What are we going to do? What are we going to DO?!? Let me tell you what Google has ALREADY FUCKING DONE FOR BLACK PEOPLE, okay? We did an MLK Google Doodle. Multiple MLK Doodles, in fact. We did a Sojourner Truth Doodle. We did a Rosa Parks Doodle. We did a Juneteenth Doodle. We did an Audre Lorde Doodle, for fuck’s sake! B.B. King. Ida B. Wells. Langston Hughes. We did a Dorothy Height Doodle. No one even fucking knows who that is! You think anyone would know about Dorothy fucking Height without the Doodle? No. But the Doodle remembers. The Doodle remembers it all, and we at Google will not take any more BULLSHIT, because it’s never enough for you people, is it? No! No! To the African American community, I say: Your history wouldn’t be fucking anywhere without the Doodle! Do you realize how much goddamn lighthearted awareness we’ve brought to your cause? But of course we get NO CREDIT from the FUCKING MEDIA, who are IMPUGNING our GODDAMN DOODLES.”

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Brian Moynihan, Bank Of America

Brian Moynihan, Bank Of America

Image for article titled CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month

“I am going to invite Bill Cosby into the office to do a Q and A with employees.”

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Meghan Davis, Thinx

Meghan Davis, Thinx

Image for article titled CEOs Explain How They Are Celebrating Black History Month

“By highlighting all the amazing contributions and social progress that white women have made.”

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

You’ve Made It This Far...

You’ve Made It This Far...

Advertisement