Chelsea Clinton Getting Married

Illustration for article titled Chelsea Clinton Getting Married

Chelsea Clinton, daughter of former president Bill Clinton and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, is marrying Marc Mezvinsky this Saturday in a ceremony that will be attended by Barack Obama, Barbra Streisand, and Oprah Winfrey. Here's what to expect from the nuptials:

  • Misguided toast from drunk uncle about Chelsea's "ugly years"
  • Continuing a White House tradition, Chelsea will wear the famous wedding dress worn by such former first daughters as Jenna Bush, Caroline Kennedy, Tricia Nixon, and Margaret Truman
  • An ultimately unsuccessful but surprisingly robust challenge from the wedding of Ross Perot's daughter
  • Photo booth manned by Annie Leibovitz
  • Countless requests to have groom pointed out
  • Janet Reno finally catching the bouquet
  • Liberal elite drowning themselves in the fruit borne of overtaxing the middle-class
  • A self-indulgent New York Times Weddings section write-up to end all self-indulgent New York Times Weddings section write-ups