Chelsea Clinton, daughter of former president Bill Clinton and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, is marrying Marc Mezvinsky this Saturday in a ceremony that will be attended by Barack Obama, Barbra Streisand, and Oprah Winfrey. Here's what to expect from the nuptials:
- Misguided toast from drunk uncle about Chelsea's "ugly years"
- Continuing a White House tradition, Chelsea will wear the famous wedding dress worn by such former first daughters as Jenna Bush, Caroline Kennedy, Tricia Nixon, and Margaret Truman
- An ultimately unsuccessful but surprisingly robust challenge from the wedding of Ross Perot's daughter
- Photo booth manned by Annie Leibovitz
- Countless requests to have groom pointed out
- Janet Reno finally catching the bouquet
- Liberal elite drowning themselves in the fruit borne of overtaxing the middle-class
- A self-indulgent New York Times Weddings section write-up to end all self-indulgent New York Times Weddings section write-ups