MADISON, CT—After several warnings to stop his fidgeting and keep quiet during the town’s 9/11 memorial service, 6-year-old Caleb Goetz was sternly reminded by his mother that today is a sad day, sources confirmed this morning. “Caleb, we’re sad today, so no more goofing around. Got it?” said the boy’s mother, Hannah Goetz, in a sharp whisper, bending down to look the child in his eyes and tell him to stop running his Matchbox car up and down her pant leg and making engine noises with his mouth while the people at the podium were speaking into the microphone. “Do you see all the people’s faces? Everyone’s sad. This is very sad, okay? If you can’t stand still until they finish raising the flag and lighting the candles, then no Legends Of Chima later. You hear me?” In a further effort to keep him from acting out, the boy’s mother then reportedly glared at him for the entire moment of silence.
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