POUGHKEEPSIE, NY—In a wasted effort to tug at the heartstrings of a woman his father had brought back to their home, sources reported Thursday that local child Theo Arafae, 6, was putting on a whole show for someone his single father would date only briefly and bang no more than twice. “He sang her a song he learned in school and then asked her if she’d like to share some of his toys,” Alex Arafae said as his son took out crayons and drew a picture of himself, his father, and the woman his father was not interested in having a relationship with and would probably never see again after they had hooked up a couple times. “Oh God, he won’t stop calling her pretty. And now that he’s hugging her good night and going to bed, I realize he thinks she’s going to be here in the morning. Fuck.” The first-grader also reportedly invited the woman to his birthday party three months from now, by which point sources confirmed the woman would no longer remember the boy’s name.
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This Week's Most Viral News: June 2, 2023