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Child Walks In On Parents Failing To Reignite Spark In Marriage

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LANSING, MI—After waking from a nightmare and running down the hallway to their bedroom, local child Logan McMurray, 9, accidentally walked in on his parents failing to reignite the spark in their marriage, sources reported Tuesday. When the boy opened the door, his mother and father were said to be in the middle of the act of struggling to find something even remotely mysterious or sexually exciting about their partner of more than 15 years. According to sources, the third-grader’s eyes widened in horror as his parents, in a belated attempt to protect his innocence, immediately broke off their efforts both to remember what it was that had attracted them to each other in the first place and to summon the bare-minimum level of desire necessary to demonstrate that love physically. At press time, McMurray’s parents had reportedly sat him down to explain that what he saw wasn’t wrong or naughty, but just a special thing mommies and daddies do when they’re trying to stave off divorce.