LANSING, MI—Fretting anxiously over what the future held for him, local childless man Gary D’Amore reportedly wondered Tuesday who would be there to neglect him when he grew old. “Most of my friends can count on their kids to shove them in a nursing home and completely forget about them in their twilight years, but who’s going to show that kind of callous indifference toward me?” said the uneasy D’Amore, who admitted he had always taken for granted that someone would resent him as a constant burden the way he did for his mom and dad. “The older I get, the more I worry about where my social isolation and unanswered phone calls are going to come from. I never wound up having a son or daughter who could make a perfunctory visit to my house once a year and spend the whole time impatiently staring at their watch. Who’s going to ignore whether I’m taking the right medication? Who’s going to leave me alone during the holidays? Who will barely remember me when I die? I guess I have enough money to afford nurses for elder abuse, but that’s just not the same as being mistreated by your own flesh and blood.” Deciding that he ultimately couldn’t rely on anyone else’s apathy, D’Amore accepted that he would just have to continue neglecting himself instead.
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