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Children Gather At Edge Of Playground To Watch As Self-Driving Tesla Repeatedly Rams Into Fence

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CHICAGO—Enthralled by the sight of the 4,000-pound vehicle straining with all its might to break through to them, a group of children had reportedly gathered at the edge of a school playground Wednesday to watch as a self-driving Tesla repeatedly rammed into the fence. “It’s been doing it for, like, 20 minutes straight,” said 10-year-old Alexis Powell, who was among the approximately 30 students who stood just out of reach of the bloodthirsty and determined Tesla Model X. “It was driving along normal but then made a beeline for the playground as soon as it saw us. One kid stuck his finger through earlier, and it was instantly crushed! You can tell it wants in here real bad.” At press time, sources said the students had been called back inside by their teacher, who scolded them for taunting the Tesla by standing so close.