Chimps In Danger Of Extinction

"Oh, boo hoo. They had their chance."

David Price • Civil Engineer

"As a poacher, whenever I catch a chimp, I just throw it back. I'm after the tastier marmosets."

Ravi Klun • Poacher

"Well, I say it's one less species who will masturbate in public. Good riddance!"

Inez Rahman • Pedicurist

"What?! Oh, chimps. I thought you said 'chicks.' Shit. Wow. For a second there… fuck."

Wade Caho Jr. • Artist

"Crap! We'd better remake The Barefoot Executive now, before it's too late."

Robert Hegeman • Systems Analyst

"They're being hunted for meat? Are chimp fajitas any good?"

Dorothee Fochs • Statistician