They’re For Sitting On Or Running Up Or Something

CHICAGO—Noting the structure’s considerable size and prominent location in a busy public park, local residents confirmed Tuesday that the city had installed some big concrete stairs that were probably for sitting on or running up or something like that. “The steps are big, so you can have lunch on them or you can exercise on them or lie down in the sun or do other stuff,” said resident Brian Cooley, adding that most people were currently using the big stairs for sitting, but that some people probably used them for other things. “They’re more interesting than regular stairs. They’re bigger. If I ever needed a place to meet up with someone, I’d probably say ‘Let’s meet at the big stairs.’ They’d know what I was talking about.” At press time, the city government was reportedly considering plans for more big stairs in other locations.