TAMPA, FL—Buccaneers quarterbacks coach Alex Van Pelt admitted to reporters Saturday that even though he knows it’s wrong and “very, very naughty,” he secretly gets aroused when he sees a team line up in an illegal formation. “Mmm, look at this wideout, look at him failing to cover that tackle, oh, that’s so bad,” said Van Pelt, licking his lips as he ran tape of the same penalty forward and backward multiple times. “You throw that flag, ref. You know it’s wrong. That’s only six men on the line of scrimmage, and that ref doesn’t like it. No, not one bit. But you know who does like it? Alex likes it. Yeah. Yeah, Alex knows that tackle failed to report as an eligible receiver. Mmmm.” After Van Pelt spent several more minutes dissecting one illegal formation penalty from a preseason game against the Dolphins, reporters asked him what he thought of illegal shifts, which prompted the coach to release a pleasurable moan and excuse himself from the film room.
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