Common Medical Procedures And What They Cost Around The World

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Heart Bypass Surgery

U.S.: More money than you got

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Heart Bypass Surgery

Spain: The only cure for an ailing heart is flamenco.

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Removal Of Life’s Savings

U.S.: Free

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Removal Of Life’s Savings

E.U.: Procedure rarely performed

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Massive Gunshot Wound

U.S.: $10,000 and up depending on severity

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Massive Gunshot Wound

E.U.: Gunshot wounds? In a civilian hospital?

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Bloodletting

U.S.: $500 plus cost of individual leeches

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Bloodletting

E.U.: $0, included in overall bodily humors coverage

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Birth

U.S.: $13,000 in a hospital

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Birth

Ireland: 1,500 pounds but if they kill the mom it’s free

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Nurse Having Sex With Your Unconscious Body While In A Coma

U.S.: Free

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Nurse Having Sex With Your Unconscious Body While In A Coma

E.U.: Free

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Hair Transplant

U.S.: Not covered except in cases of emergency baldness

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Hair Transplant

E.U.: Free, whatever, we’re not keeping track

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Heart Valve Repair

U.S.: $20,000 and up, depending on how much hardened nacho cheese needs to be drilled out of ventricles

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Heart Valve Repair

Finland: Free, plus children’s choir brought in to cheer you on

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Castration

U.S.: Free if by accidental gunshot

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Castration

Vatican City: Free if child has voice of angel

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A Good Old-Fashioned Scolding

U.S.: Free

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A Good Old-Fashioned Scolding

E.U.: Free

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Ambulance

U.S.: Up to $2,000

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Ambulance

Italy: $35 via gondola

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Knee Replacement

U.S.: $30,000

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Knee Replacement

E.U.:$5,000, but your knees will be on European calibration

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Urinalysis

U.S.: Pisspig doctor will do it for $50

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Urinalysis

E.U.: Pisspig doctor will do it for free

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Treating Traumatic Injuries From Car Crash

U.S.: A number of factors can affect—oops, you died waiting in the hallway

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Treating Traumatic Injuries From Car Crash

E.U.: $2,000 and up

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Lice Removal

U.S.: $550

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Lice Removal

E.U.: $15

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Lice Installation

U.S.: $25,000

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Lice Installation

E.U.: $15

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Prayer Before Surgery

U.S.: A doctor in the U.S. may charge up to $5,000 per prayer to God

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Prayer Before Surgery

Anywhere Else On Planet: If a doctor did this anywhere else in the world, they would be immediately disbarred

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Appendectomy

U.S.: $82,000

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Appendectomy

N/A: Most countries outside the U.S. forego this totally cosmetic procedure

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Treating Injuries From Bear Attack

U.S.: $5,000 medical expenses for cuts, scrapes, gashes plus $8,000 in legal fees for desecrating public property with blood

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Treating Injuries From Bear Attack

Russia: $0 because the victim would not consider going to the doctor

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IUD Placement

U.S.: $4,000, with 20% discount for certified hotties

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IUD Placement

Australia: $25 per insertion via boomerang method