Common Types Of Dreams And What They Actually Mean

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Falling

Dreams you are falling are very common and mean that even in your sleep, where there are no limits to the imagination, you are an unoriginal hack.

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Reading A Slideshow From The Onion

Look around you. How did you get here? Where did this all come from? You are trapped in a dream realm from which you will never escape. Be calm. Don’t panic. Be calm. Don’t panic.

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Having Sex With Your Mom As Your Dad Looks On Helplessly And Starts Crying

What? What are you saying? That’s really fucked up. You shouldn’t tell us things like that. Honestly, there’s probably something wrong with you.

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Chased By Stampeding Wildebeest

Iranian scientists have made a significant breakthrough in their pursuit of nuclear weapons.

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The Back To The Future Trilogy, Shot For Shot, Unaltered

Your subconscious is tired of trying to communicate with you and is just going to enjoy itself for six hours or so.

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Tutoring Yourself For The SAT

You don’t quite feel ready for a dream about taking an exam yet, so you put in one dream a week toward test prep.

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A Visitation From James McAvoy

A common symbol of blessings to come, just as soon as you place where you know him from.

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It Was So Weird—Your Shoes Were Actually, Like, Tissue Boxes And You Had To Deliver A...Honeydew Melon To Your Seventh-Grade Teacher

We don’t know the true meaning of this dream, but maybe you should tell your coworker about it at excruciating length.

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Showing Up To School Naked

A message directly from God suggesting you go to a schoolyard and expose yourself to children.

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Being Will Smith’s Ventriloquist Dummy

Reflects your unconscious but powerful desire for actor Will Smith to use his voice to help you find yours.

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Devouring Joey Chestnut

Your unconscious desire for power reveals itself in this disturbing scenario in which you eat the king of competitive eaters.

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You’re Finally Completing Your Military Training And Are Now A Child Soldier

Sometimes we all dream of things we want but can’t have.

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Committing Murder

Often a desire to “kill” an unpleasant aspect of your psyche but sometimes simply a memory of what you did to that hiker.

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Soaring Over A Scenic Mountain Range With The Ease And Grace Of A Beautiful Bird, Tears Running Down Your Cheeks, Feeling Free For The First Time In Your Life

That celebrity you were thinking about shooting? You should totally do it.

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You’re At School With No Hat On

Hat-related anxiety.

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A Giant Asteroid Is On A Collision Course With Earth

You fell asleep watching Deep Impact.

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Foretelling Your Friends’ Violent Deaths In A Dream More Lifelike Than Any You’ve Ever Had Before

You ate too much before bed.

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You Are Completely Paralyzed Within Your Own Body And An Old Witch Is Slowly Walking Towards You

A normal part of every second REM cycle.

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Tropical Beach

Dreaming you are lounging on a tropical beach, sipping on Mai Tais next to a gorgeous model, means your boss is about to wake you up at your desk and fire you.

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You’re Standing On Top Of A Hill Labeled ‘Relationship’ Getting Struck By A Lightning Bolt Labeled ‘Doubt’

Probably need a softer pillow or something.

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You See A Bright Light And Walk Towards It But It Ends Up Being A Flashlight Held Up By A Doctor Who Says ‘This Doesn’t Look Good’

You might want to check if you’re six years into a coma and they’re about to pull the plug.

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Baby Crying In Background As You Make Out With Chiseled Bourne-Era Matt Damon

You shouldn’t wake up. Seriously. Just enjoy this before you’re dragged back to the hell of your daily life.

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You Had A Dream But Can’t Remember It

Agents have erased your memory after stumbling upon a government conspiracy that goes all the way to the top.

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There Is A Liquor Bottle Next To You That’s Half Full And The Liquid Is Whiskey Maybe Rye Or Could Be Bourbon But You Just Stare At It For A Few Minutes Debating Whether To Have A Swig And Then You See There’s Two Or Three Clouds Up There And That Looks Pretty Nice So You Gaze At The Sky For A While And Then You Notice A Tree Has Suddenly Appeared Next To You Or Perhaps Was There All Along And You Smile At It Without Knowing Why And Its Green Leaves Glow Verdantly And A Couple Frolicking Rabbits Run By And They Are Unusually Large For Rabbits But Not Like Scary Large Just Probably A Bit Larger Than Rabbits Are Supposed To Be And They Hop By And You Look At The Sky Again To See Those Nice Clouds But They Are Gone And The Sky Has Turned Slightly Gray As If It Will Rain And You Wonder Whether It Will Which Could Be Nice As You Haven’t Had Rain There For Weeks Which Makes You Wonder Where ‘There’ Is Since You’ve Never Been In This Field Before Or Is It A Meadow What Is The Technical Difference You Wonder Between ‘Field’ And ‘Meadow’ And Then Oh Jesus You Panic Because You Suddenly Remember There Are Also ‘Glens’ And ‘Paddocks’ Which Is Confusing But You Realize That Panicking Over A Few Definitional Differences Among Topography Is A Bit Silly But Hey That’s Dream Logic For You And Oh Whoa You Realize You Are Dreaming About Being In A Dream Which Is Kind Of Strange Isn’t It So You Shake Your Head Mildly And Then Forget You’re In A Dream And Start Dreaming About A Pretty Large Pretzel Lying On The Ground Next To Some Gnarled Tree Roots And Whoa Hey Those Look Kind Of Similar Don’t They That’s Interesting And Then Your Dream Fades And That’s All You Can Remember

Concern about your future.

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Sex

You are a pedophile.