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Confused Audience Member At Town Hall Debate Asking About City’s New Stoplights

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ST. LOUIS—Insisting the signaling devices posed a safety threat to the local community, a confused audience member at Sunday night’s presidential town hall debate reportedly questioned the nominees about the city’s new traffic lights. “Those new stoplights they put in near downtown never work right, and I want to know if there’s a plan to do something about it,” said the misguided man, before stating to the two frontrunners for president of the United States that someone needed to be held accountable for the traffic backups the signal was causing. “The yellow lights on them go by way too quick. It’s hard to tell if you should stop or not. On top of that, the new ones they put in at Tucker and Washington were on the fritz the other day, and that’s a busy intersection. Somebody needs to fix them.” At press time, the same audience member was reportedly interrupting Donald Trump’s criticism of the Iran nuclear deal to ask a follow-up question about a big pothole on Truman Parkway.