Whoa, nice work, gamers! OGN is awarding you an extra hour of screen time tonight because you got such good grades!
Get excited, because you can use any of your Switch or PC games—nothing violent, obviously—to your heart’s content for an additional 60 minutes this evening because you really knocked it out of the park on your last round of tests.
Kirby, Mario, Link, Sonic—you can play as any of these classic characters since you maintained a B+ average in your classes, even French, which we know you’d been struggling with. We know it wasn’t easy to learn the subjunctive tense, but you buckled down and did it, and your hard work is paying off big time!
We’re super proud of you, gaming aficionados, so feel free to watch a few YouTube tutorial videos about MineCraft and Stardew Valley, too, if that’s how you’d like to spend your time, or log onto Twitch and catch the latest run-throughs. It’s all up to you because you did such a good job!
Remember how upset you were with us when we took away your PlayStation Vita for getting a C+ on that geometry test? How you threw a fit, stormed into your room, and wouldn’t even come out for dinner? Well, now that your grades have improved, you must see that we knew what we were doing! We’re tough but fair, gamers! And we hope you have a blast tonight with a full hour of Breath Of The Wild, Luigi’s Mansion, or even Roblox!
Remember, though, that this extra hour isn’t transferable and has to be used tonight by bed time. But if you keep up your grades and put a little more effort into your next social studies project, there might be even more screen time in your future!